Thank you for your get-well wishes and also for dropping by to share what your favorite foods are. I love that! It seems like such an obvious thing to know what we like to eat, but like one commenter said, it's easy to forget what we like to eat when there are so many foods that we think we should like, yet don't.
I'm trying to get back into blogging and a whole mess of things, but as usual I've got so much to do (self-inflicted, mind you) that I have a hard time just starting, or even just sitting down and writing when I know that is exactly what I need to do for myself.
The rest of the month is pretty much booked up for us, in a good sort of way. My mom and aunt are visiting this weekend. Rumor got out that I'm turning 27 on Sunday. So I decided to go all out and have a roller skating party. I haven't roller skated in oh, 14 years? maybe more? I'll be right there at the rail, where I always was.
We are still in financial-moving limbo, which up until this point I was totally "go with the flow" about. I like to pick and choose what I get bunched up about in my life and for some reason not owning a home isn't one of them. That was, until they told us they would call with approval at the latest on Tuesday. It's now Wednesday and word has it that they called my employer for proof of employment. Apparently a W2 and pay stubs weren't enough. And then plan B sinks in...
What is plan B? Reapply for a loan? Move to another city and continue renting? Find another home? Plan B, can sometimes be the best move even though it never feels like it at the time. I'm old enough to realize that sometimes it's what doesn't happen that is the best for us. But, I'm also old enough to realize that you have to make things happen too. So we wait.
And then I start asking myself...Am I where I need to be? Am I headed in the right direction? I'm way too much of an existentialist for my own good. I don't lose sleep over the fact that I haven't cleaned in god knows how long, or maybe not getting approved for a mortgage, or the fact that I over dyed my roots last night and look sorta crazy, or just little tiny details of day to day life. Nope, not me. Those things can be fixed: I can clean today, we still have a roof over our head and I can dye my hair back
Everything is related and I just wish sometimes that I could be like other people. Okay with being at the same job for the rest of their lives, okay with simple day to day security, okay with watching the same network tv shows after work, okay with never dancing, or changing the color of my hair, or how I dress, or never wondering that I'm giving enough of myself, or never accomplishing anything. I worry about losing friends, or never making new friends, or never being a truly kind or likable person. Just okay with being, just as I am for the rest of my life. I envy those people, but grateful that I'm not.
I always ask myself "will i be okay if i go my whole life without doing __________" and the answer is almost always no. But, it's not possible to do everything in one life. I worry about never making enough money to travel, to visit new cities, to visit old cities that I once loved, to own my own business, to raise a child, to eat good food. I worry about getting stuck, complacent, comfortable. I worry about being one of those women who has the same hair style for 15 years, that ones I see sobbing on Oprah makeover specials. The ones that forget who they were, their dreams and some how changing their hair, changes everything. Even though it has nothing to do with their hair.
Am I having a quarter life crisis?
Yikes! I think maybe you are:( But maybe that is a good thing. Happy early birthday!
You’ll be okay. Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. We are the same age! Enjoy your big 27th
Wow, that’s a lot of stress at once.
I had a really rough year last year and found that focusing on relaxing myself & pleasure helped a lot. It’s not that the stressy parts got any less stressy, but that I enjoyed the rest of my life more. Things like bubble baths, candles, a nice tea, etc helped me a lot.
You’re obviously very wise to know that something that you see today as a Plan B could turn out to be the best option of all — but I hope the process of figuring out things goes smoothly for you.
I completely know where you’re coming from. There are so many things I want to do, but at the same time I’m unsure of how to accomplish them. I have a good secure job, should that be enough? What about the fact that I really don’t enjoy what I do each day, should I just suck it up and be grateful that I have a good job? I want to own my own business, but what kind of business? I love pets and kids, maybe a pet store (not to sell pets, but pet stuff)? I’ve thought about taking a jewelry making class, but is that something I could really do? I could start a website or sell jewelry on ebay and maybe some day open my own little jewelry store? We want to get married and have kids (we REALLY both want kids), but we have debt. Will it ever get paid off so we can actually have the financial security to have said kids?
Overall I just know exactly where you’re coming from. Maybe it has something to do with being 27 (I’m 27 too). You’re old enough to know you want more out of life and that it’s time to work toward your goals and young enough to know that now’s the time to put in the work before you have a family and other responsibilities to worry about. But at the same time we’re also young enough to be unsure about what to do.
First, I love that you are having a roller skating party! I’ve been wanting to do that for years and haven’t made it to the rink. I hope you have a fantastic birthday!
And I can relate to how you feel. Life seems to go by so fast, and it can be overwhelming trying to check off things from the “must do this before I die” list.
I guess we all just have to take things one day at a time, one goal/dream at a time.
You have no idea how much I relate to this!
I just had my son and all of these same things have been floating through my mind the last two weeks. I am totally quoting you on my blog becuase you said what I was about to log on and blog about so beautifully. I thought I was depressed or going crazy. Now afte reading your blog I realize that I am just lost by growing up in general. Is there a book they sell that outlines how to be an effective grown up? And stay young at the same time?
You may be having that quarter life crisis. I’m in the same situation house wise I’ve been renting for too long and in the process of buying a house then wondering in these economic times am I right in the head, etc.
I know this all shall pass, just wish I could see whats around the next bend.
No one is ever “where they need to be.” The best thing is that you’re trying to get there. I have to remember for myself, too. You seem like such a likeable person. I’m sure if you had to move, you’d make plenty of new friends and keep in touch with the old ones.
Awesome post! You put into words so much of what so many of us think day to day. Right now I’m unemployed, so that is what keeps me up at night. I’d give almost anything for that day-to-day security right now. But when I was secure? I wondered if I would be ok “just being” for the rest of my life. I hear ya, girl. Happy Birthday
Wow! You know sometimes I wonder what does it mean to be a grown up…does it mean you gain a few extra pounds here and there, or does it mean you have to worry and live up to expectations of society, or! Does it mean you get to live your life to the fullest? Unfortunatly I feel most people fall under the first two. Just remember this, being a grown up means allowing life to happen, to love yourself, love the choices you make, and learn to pick up yourself when life gets to hard or feels like you can’t go! Thank u so much.. For helping me understand this!
No crisis! You’re just constantly on the move…looking to improve yourself, your life, your situation. Nothing wrong with that. Be true to who you are. Don’t compare yourself to others…be uniquely you. It’s an empowering feeling! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
There’s nothing wrong with stepping back to evaluate your life…at any age! Just don’t compare yourself to others. Maybe the worker bees seem to be just going about their lives, content with their lot; when all they really want is something else, a different life.
Just thinking about what you want your life to look like puts you a step ahead of others (like me for instance) who have let life just carry them along then wake up one day and wonder “what the hell happened??”
Happy Birthday! You seem like a totally together 27 year old!
I feel the same way! I’m 25 as well and am doing my best to not freak out about the fact that I have an AS and BS degree and now work as a nanny thanks to the economy. I stress about whether I will ever have enough money to properly raise kids with the kind of lifestyle I had. I worry about being able to afford good, fair trade and organic foods.
My best friend has to worry about whether her husbands soldiers will come home alive or not from Afghanistan. I wish I was like other friends who just worry about which bar to go to.
I don’t know if we’re right or wrong about the things we choose to worry about. My husband only worries about his football team and is very happy. Everyone I know takes a different route and I am doing my best to be at peace with where I am right now and not look at tomorrow, just live in today!
And I hate cleaning and loathe dusting so you’re not the only one behind the ball
I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And I just read all the other comments and feel much more comforted knowing that there are alot of others feeling the same way.
I honestly believe the recession has created a new level of depression and general uneasiness in everyone.
UGH, quarter life crises are the worst. You’ll get through it though.
Is this the wrong time to say happy birthday? Hahah
I feel old enough to give you advice since this year I get to turn 50 (yeah, I’m your mother’s age or more). Here’s the advice — breathe. Your life is not a race, it’s a journey, a walk, an adventure you need to enjoy. Take in all the best and worst of it.
With that said, what keeps me up at night? Pretty much the same stuff. So if you’re going to be doing this for the next 23 years, you need to learn to enjoy it! Happy Birthday!
no,sweet friend. you’re just a girl, like all the rest of us, trying to find our way, and live a life of substance and joy and adventure and everything that comes along WITH that. and if any of us ever had it all together, there would be no life to chase after. i think dreams and goals should never die, no matter how young or old we get. i’m always fond of saying *pick a direction and go….one step at a time*. you’re blog is such a happy part of my day. thank you so much for sharing your heart. <3
I hear ya! As women I think we have been trained to worry worry worry! I have the same thoughts and every year around my birthday I tend to get very reflective about the past year. Unfortunately it’s usually negative reflection…I was going to A, B and C but didn’t…and so on. I don’t know what it is about birthdays that make us do that.
I totally understand the stress about buying a house. My husband and I spent 6 months stressing, fighting and losing sleep trying to buy a house and ended up make the best decision of our lives. We don’t have to buy a house right now. We love our apartment and it’s location. Why are we putting ourselves through this when we are perfectly happy? It was such a huge relief when we came to that decision. It was the right decision for us and whenever you reach your right decision, you’ll feel that same relief. Whether is Plan A, B or Z!
Happy Birthday and enjoy the skating party (just don’t fall down and break anything)!
I just stumbled upon your blog today and it has completely made my day! I just spent the last hour reading past post – I feel like I know you
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Quarter Life crisis’s are the worst. I don’t know what it is but something about the late late 20′s (I am 27 too) make you start to wonder, What the HELL am I doing, and HOW am I going to make it happen?! No worries — everything works itself out. Just try to enjoy life in the moment.
I have a weight loss blog as well — I find it so inspiring to read about other people’s journeys and see how far they have come. Your story is amazing — Keep up the good work!
Happy Early Birthday — Have fun at the Roller Rink!!
Hello –
I am 35 and also am constantly questioning if I am settling, improving, where I need to be and always wanting to make it better! I think that is a normal feeling in anyone with an ambitious nature…..
Hair: Don’t be scared! I was always known as the person/teacher/ MOM with the LONG blond hair – down to my butt! Everyone thought it was my natural color – so over Christmas break, I decided my hair does not define me – chopped it off, colored it DARK and marched out. I have more fun messing with my hair, trying different styles, and feel better – because I am more than my hair, hair grows back – and I like it this way –
I had the same hair since I graduated college in 1999 – and it has pretty much always been long – changes are good….
You can look through pics on my blog to see the changes if you are interested –
Keep blogging – I like your style!
I just wonder how many other people that you envy are really “ok” with their lives? The majority of the people I come across are not “ok” with anything. They just pretend they are. I think envy is a part of life. I think everyone, at some time, thinks the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence.
Don’t worry so much, you’re doing great! You have so much going for you in your life and worrying won’t do a damn bit of good
27 is a great year because it’s 3 to the power of 3. Also, don’t dread the mid-life crisis, embrace the idea that you’ll get to have one. Make choices, live a dream, wake up at 50 and wonder what life would have been like with different choices. Then, go live a different life with different dreams. You may not do everything, well few of us do. But you may also wake up at 50 and go “hey, I made a lot of great choices and I have a [great marriage, kids, health, travel] which have given me everything I could want”. Because happiness is not about what you get, it’s about putting the effort to get there.
I worry about the same life-related things. I’m still in college, and I’m only 19. But the thought of settling into a standard career, doing the same things every day, being the boring middle-aged person that I see in family friends is repulsive!
There’s still time to figure it out, though. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, and it doesn’t sound like you’re in danger of becoming complacent and boring! Stick with it!
You will NEVER be one of those people that don’t change their hair for 15 years because it already offends you. Life IS boring if nothing changes, and it’s a good sign that you want things to change for the better all the time. It’s the people who don’t strive for change that get to their old age with regrets. Don’t worry the older you get you start to weed out some of those things that you thought you wanted, later on they won’t mean as much. Trust me as I approach my 50th birthday, I still want to do things, I have just narrowed the field to the ones that are most important.You’re doing just fine, and BTW…Happy Birthday.
Happy birthdayyyyyyyy! Hope you had a great day and an awesome celebration!
Just don;t get a tattoo like I did during my quarter life crisis. Just a little piece of advice from me to you.
Although I figure I’m now good for another 20 years.
Lorrie- I just found your blog and I have to say I love it. Happy B-Day! Having always been the token cubby-buddy, I can totally relate – as I grew up with a size 0 sister and all of her skinny friends. Your recent post really got me thinking…why be boring? I love change and having two 13 year old daughters keeps me young. They do get the eye rolling thing going when I want to shop at the same stores…but oh well. It’s fun. Good luck on the home thing. It took a while for me too, but it finally happened and I love the fact that I can do what I want to my home…but in the meantime, new curtains, pillows, rugs and lamps can really change a room..i look forward to more blogs.
I was doing a Google search on weight loss blogs and just happened to stumble upon yours, and I was amazed to see this entry because it’s almost exactly how I feel right now. I’m 26, just a year behind you, but I’m feeling the same things. My life is in complete upheavel right now… we had a family tragedy in the beginning of March, and then two weeks later my I ended things with my boyfriend of three years, and now I find myself looking for a new job, and an apartment/condo. My dad is pushing me to buy, but I’m not sure it’s the right time.
Meanwhile, with another failed relationship, I feel like a failure. I’m a 26 year old with a college degree working as a waitress, terrified that I can’t support myself like I need to. I’m worried that I’ll settle into this serving job and never move on to something better. I feel like this is just the time when people start to really think about there lives. We’re not teenagers anymore, and suddenly middle age seems a lot closer than it used to and I’m really afraid life is going to pass me by while I’m trying to plan it out.
So you’re not alone
None of us are.
I just found your blog and I LOVE it!!!! I have struggled with my weight for years, now finally slowly getting under control, also getting older and have the alot of the same thoughts as you!! Good luck, I am goning to put you on favs!! Thanks kathy
You are so lucky to have this revelation and desire to change things up at such a young age. I just turned 40 and am going through some of the same stuff. I guess better late than never.
I just wanted to say that I love what I have read so far! You are very brave to share your thoughts and ideas, and you inspire me to do the same!
I just started weight watchers again after gaining back what I lost before, and it seems harder this time! But I am excited about it!
Have a great week!
Stumbled across your wonderful blog. Be blessed on your journey. I swear sometimes I just wish this journey didn’t have to be so hard. Waking up everyday wishing I was smaller. Anyway blessing to you!
Thysongbird