JUST KIDDING! Or so it seems...
As you all know, I flew to Chicago on Thursday via United Airlines. I hate flying. I really do. The hustle of it, the taking off my shoes and jacket, clearing my bags of all liquids, waiting for hours in an airport, sitting in a cramped plane smelling fumes and worrying about not being able to breath, but I do it because I like to go places.
I am fat and because of my weight this adds an extra layer of fear and reservation about flying. Will I fit? Will I squish the person next to me? Will someone be offended by my weight? What if I need a seat belt extender?
I've been flying to and from NYC through continental and American Airlines and have never not been able to buckle my seat belt even at my highest weight. It is tight and cramped, but I manage.
This time was different... I get right on the United flight and sit beside an equally large man who happens to carry majority of his weight in his belly region.
Not me. I am hippy, and butty and have a shelf that you could eat dinner on. I sit down and the struggle begins. I start sweating, my hands are starting to burn from the force of trying to cram the two pieces of metal together. I hoped that shear will would make it buckle. It just isn't happening- I needed 3 more inches. My face is red, and I am contemplating using my scarf as a hiding device.
Looking back, I would have used my scarf. It was a small plane and really if we were plummeting hundreds of miles into the earth would it really save me? But, my conscious gets the best of me. I start fearing that they have tracking devices up front to see who has and who hasn't buckled, so I take a deep breath and timidly raise my hand.
The flight attendant walks towards me. I can do this, I keep repeating. She is getting closer and I'm sure I'm going to suffocate as the plane seems to be getting smaller. She is now a foot away and I point to my seat belt and my inability to buckle it.
And do you know what she says? Are you ready for this?
YOU CAN'T FIT IN YOUR SEAT?!?!
Me stunned, what? yes, I just can't buckle the belt.
YOU CAN'T BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT?
No. (obviously)
WELL YOU CAN'T FLY WITH US!
are you serious? I need to get to chicago.
NO YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE PLANE! COME UP FRONT.
I sit there, just staring at her. The entire plane stares at me. She stands there waiting what seems like a million minutes. I don't budge. And then she says
I'M JUST KIDDING, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I type that in caps, because she was loud and obnoxious. The entire plane was looking at me. I mean, who wouldn't watch this play out? No one around me got the joke and I swear the stares were of sympathy rather than judgment (mostly.)
If this was three years ago, I don't think I would have made it mentally through the whole weekend in Chicago without replaying this situation in my head a thousand times and dreading my flight home. But, I just dealt with it and kept my head up on the way to Chicago.
The thing is, is that I get that I am fat, I get the too fat to fly stuff, but really? Did it need to happen like this? United Airlines has been in the media recently about their treatment of fat people flying, is this their new protocol? Embarrass the shit out of your fat customers so they are too ashamed to fly again?
I would write their customer service department a letter describing the whole situation.
See how they comment back
I cannot believe someone actually did this to another human being. Especially one woman to another. What a horrible witch, I hope she lost her job for this. Or at least was put on the worst possible flight route for the rest of her miserable career!
I think that is why my 25-yr old daughter doesn’t want to fly. She is overweight but not grossly obese and she doesn’t like to dress up. I thought it was because she way gay and lost the whole “girly” clothes phase. I’ve asked her recently to take a trip which meant we had to “fly” and she refused. Said she’s afraid of flying but she’s never flown. So, after reading this, it made me think it was something else, like her weight that is bothering her. It’s so hard to get her motivated to start exercising and she eats horrible. I do know that things won’t change until she’s ready to make that change. Thanks for posting this blog, it brings things in perspective.
This is absolutely unacceptable and that person should be punished! I need an extension every time I fly and I’ve never experienced such awful behavior. I tend to ask them quietly when I walk in the plane if I can get one and then slip it by later.
Oh. Dear God. I would have died. I have had issues with United but I stole a seat belt extender a long time ago. I am in the same boat. I really have to work to get it closed. This sucks. Kudos for making the flight.
Any news from United?
Hope your doing well
Wow…that is totally unprofessional and darn right rude. I hope you write a letter to the company and complain. They should be giving you a free flight or something….soooo inappropriate. I’m sorry you had to endure that.
That’s insane! Why are people so darn rude!? And how the heck is that funny? I think I would have cried all week. You’re much better than me.
You should write a letter to the airline. It was rude and uncalled for, for the flight attendant to joke like that.
I applaud you for handling it so well.
I’m new to your blog and have been cruising your archives. I love how honest you are about everything.
And, I too LOVE Tae Bo.
Are you serious? I wouldn’t sue, but I would sure as heck write one heck of a letter to the head of public relations for the airline! Probably the CEO too! Just awful…
I would have died. Right there. I would have shriveled up and died. I can’t even believe that flight attendant. I’m on the brink of needing an extender and I am positive I would break down if someone had treated me that way.
OK…that is one of the most horrible things I have every heard. Let me guess, she was super skinny & beautiful. What kind of person thinks that is ok? What kind of company would employ someone who thinks that is ok? I sure hope you complained to someone because they need to be held accountable for their unprofessionalism!
That is insane!
Wow! That is quite an experience. I have asked for extenders on too many flights to count and have never had a flight attendant do anything but discreetly hand me one.
I really think that you should address this with the corporate office. There is already enough fear amongst large size people that they’ll get kicked off of United. She really took advantage of that and terrorized you emotionally.
You handled it brilliantly!
I really hope you do call the company, and write a letter. What that woman did was inappropriate, unprofessional, and mean. I think she needs some sensitivity training at the very least. I have a couple four-letter words I’d like to use…
That is simply un-acceptable. How horrible and insensitive. I think you should inform United Airlines & let me know.
I am amazed at your composure! Keep up the good work.
My mouth literally gaped open as I read this. I would be calling the company and giving them a giant piece of my mind about what that bitch (yeah, I’m calling her a bitch) said and did to you. There is no excuse whatsoever for being treated like that. I’ve heard bad things about United before, but your story takes the proverbial cake. I can honestly say I will NEVER fly with them. Ever. Thanks for the heads up. I’m just sorry it took your being humiliated for the rest of us to know it’s not safe to fly with them.
I’ve had to ask for a seatbelt extender before too. Recently I went to take a required test for my teaching credential. I couldn’t fit in the desk assigned to me. The proctor made a big, huge scene about it so everyone in the room was aware I couldn’t fit. I bent in her direction and said through clenched teeth, “You are embarrassing me!”. There was no way she couldn’t see how pissed I was. She looked all hurt, like I shouldn’t have been mean to her. People are just clueless about weight discrimination. I think it’s the last acceptable discrimination. I guess we just don’t protest enough as a group! Honestly the flight person that humiliated you should be fired.
are you kidding me?!?!?! I dont even have any other words. ugh some people
What a horrible expereince.
Been there — felt that — and it’s so obnoxious of that flight attendant! I’m sorry you experienced it and I’m glad you were able to let it go and enjoy your weekend!
I am shocked at how offensive that is! I am so sorry for your experience.
Wow… So sorry to hear your experience! That was totally rude and uncalled for! I would have sent an email to the airline about that one.
What ever happened to the .. if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all rule anyway?
… like your hat in your pic by the way .. cute
I have never posted before, so I don’t know if there are unspoken rules, but when I read this I had to comment. I understand fully your frustration, and fear of flying. My husband and I live in TN, and fly to see my dad in California every year. And every year, I dread the plane ride. My husband loves sitting by the window, but I have a rule he had to sit in the middle, and I have to sit on the aisle or the window, if anyone else is sitting on the row with us. I created the rule, after my husband and I were seated in separate areas. This heavy man sighed as I moved past him to sit down. He grumble something, and then literally shoved the armrest down onto my hip. I have never felt so small or big in my entire life. I looked back to my husband, and luckily he was calling me back to set with him. (someone switched). I try to feel normal, I really do – but when things like this happens it so hard to feel anything other then awful.
I cannot believe the audacity of that woman. Seriously I do not know how you kept quiet. I would have just stood up from my seat and looked at her point blank and said…”Did you just insult me in front of all these passengers here?” “Get me the pilot right now or whoever the heck deals with obnoxious people like you on this airplane.”
You are a person just as she is. No one should have the right to ever talk to you like that! Love the way you are right now and if anyone ever does that to you again…tell them they are going to get their sorry ass sued for harassment. It is absolutely unacceptable.