JUST KIDDING! Or so it seems...
As you all know, I flew to Chicago on Thursday via United Airlines. I hate flying. I really do. The hustle of it, the taking off my shoes and jacket, clearing my bags of all liquids, waiting for hours in an airport, sitting in a cramped plane smelling fumes and worrying about not being able to breath, but I do it because I like to go places.
I am fat and because of my weight this adds an extra layer of fear and reservation about flying. Will I fit? Will I squish the person next to me? Will someone be offended by my weight? What if I need a seat belt extender?
I've been flying to and from NYC through continental and American Airlines and have never not been able to buckle my seat belt even at my highest weight. It is tight and cramped, but I manage.
This time was different... I get right on the United flight and sit beside an equally large man who happens to carry majority of his weight in his belly region.
Not me. I am hippy, and butty and have a shelf that you could eat dinner on. I sit down and the struggle begins. I start sweating, my hands are starting to burn from the force of trying to cram the two pieces of metal together. I hoped that shear will would make it buckle. It just isn't happening- I needed 3 more inches. My face is red, and I am contemplating using my scarf as a hiding device.
Looking back, I would have used my scarf. It was a small plane and really if we were plummeting hundreds of miles into the earth would it really save me? But, my conscious gets the best of me. I start fearing that they have tracking devices up front to see who has and who hasn't buckled, so I take a deep breath and timidly raise my hand.
The flight attendant walks towards me. I can do this, I keep repeating. She is getting closer and I'm sure I'm going to suffocate as the plane seems to be getting smaller. She is now a foot away and I point to my seat belt and my inability to buckle it.
And do you know what she says? Are you ready for this?
YOU CAN'T FIT IN YOUR SEAT?!?!
Me stunned, what? yes, I just can't buckle the belt.
YOU CAN'T BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT?
No. (obviously)
WELL YOU CAN'T FLY WITH US!
are you serious? I need to get to chicago.
NO YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE PLANE! COME UP FRONT.
I sit there, just staring at her. The entire plane stares at me. She stands there waiting what seems like a million minutes. I don't budge. And then she says
I'M JUST KIDDING, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I type that in caps, because she was loud and obnoxious. The entire plane was looking at me. I mean, who wouldn't watch this play out? No one around me got the joke and I swear the stares were of sympathy rather than judgment (mostly.)
If this was three years ago, I don't think I would have made it mentally through the whole weekend in Chicago without replaying this situation in my head a thousand times and dreading my flight home. But, I just dealt with it and kept my head up on the way to Chicago.
The thing is, is that I get that I am fat, I get the too fat to fly stuff, but really? Did it need to happen like this? United Airlines has been in the media recently about their treatment of fat people flying, is this their new protocol? Embarrass the shit out of your fat customers so they are too ashamed to fly again?
This is SO VERY UNACCEPTABLE behavior on the part of the stewardi AND the airline!
no way! i cant believe the attendant did that to you!!! i would be writing a heated letter to the company…wow…don’t worry, you can lose the weight, she cant lose her stupidty! ha.
But they let stupid bitches fly?
Write a letter. Or write a song. Have you seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo
Apparently this really hurt United’s sales. I freaking hate United and this just confirms how I feel about them.
Entirely inappropriate! I know that feeling of dread getting on a plane, roller coaster, etc. It’s true, we’re all aware of our size, no need to be nasty! What an awful human being.
I would have whooped that bitch’s ass.
I’d have slapped her. Completely and totally inappropriate behavior on her part!
That is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard.
Before loosing 65lbs, I flew many times to visit my boyfriend in Chicago. I soon learned how to politely ask for a seat belt extender with my head held high. The flight attendants were always helpful and discrete and never made me feel ashamed. That woman could stand to learn a thing or two from them.
OMG!! Ok.. I have a big mouth myself, and she would have gotten an earful had it of been me, you are surely a much nicer person than I am! lol!!! I think you should write a letter, call, whatever, about what happened. I can’t get over the gall of some people.. UGH!!!
Oh, and literally LOL’ed at Maranda’s comment.. lmao!!
Oh my god! Sweetie… you need to file a formal complaint with the airlines and then get yourself an attorney and sue the airlines. I would have been horrified if someone had done that to me in public.
P.S. Please buy yourself some seatbelt extenders so that you never have to ask for the assistance of those judgemental people again. Just search for ‘airline seatbelt extender’.
That is my worst nightmare!!!
I hate flying. I hate wasting money by buying two seats cause I am afraid of squishing the person next to me. I hate having to ask for a seat belt extender.
I have noticed that some flight attendants are kind and discreet and some are rude and grossed out. I love to go new places but flying discourages me.
If I was in your situation I would have cried. I am horrified for you! Insane.
That flight attendant just joined my list of ‘people I REALLY hope don’t EVER breed’. Seriously, how can sombody be so rude? Not to mention retarded? If we lived in a world with less cotton wool wrapping, natural selection would have got her within 15 years of birth. *angry rant over*
Sorry about violence of above, just cant stand people who think that being heinous proves their inate superiority. grrrrrrrrr.
Just thought I would ask how you let people know about your blog, have just started blogging about my ambition to be qn ex-fatty, and it would be nice to get the occasional response (even if only to abuse my spelling. I know, its awful).
I’m at http://purplecoatmission.blogspot.com/ if you feel like dropping by.
I cannot believe that story!! I am just in shock. I have dread about flying for the same reasons you do. Congratulations for surviving it. Really.
I’ve been following your blog for awhile but not posting…but this KILLS ME.
OH MY GOODNESS! Please tell us that you submitted a huge fregging compaint? That is AWFUL. It sounds like total prejudice to me. As someone who works in the fitness industry, I can’t imagine someone saying EVER something like this. Seriously-how motivating, eh? I really hope you write in. Hearing about your experience disgusts me and makes me want to write in on your (and probably a million others) behalf.
WOW! I am speechless right now. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that woman. I would write to the airline company and at least get a free flight or something out of it. People can be so rude sometimes! ! !
Ridiculous! But I’m sure you heard about the flight in Miami today — something like 28 passengers hurt in turbulence, several of whom apparently hit the ceiling. But with flight attendants like that, I wouldn’t be surprised if passengers used a scarf to fake being buckled! But not being buckled is dangerous and you did the right thing in getting the extender.
I love your blog. I really think you should read mine, you’d relate to it
I would have kicked me off the plane and not because I am fat. I would have gotten kicked off after cussing out the flight attendent. Then I would have asked the flight attendent, “What did the 5 fingers say to the face?” Then she would reply, “What?” Then I’d slap her silly and say, “THAT’s what the 5 fingers said to the face. Now I’m just kidding!” I wonder how funny she would think that is….
oops…I meant they would have kicked me off not I would have kicked me off.
OH NO SHE DID NOT!!!!! That’s it, I will never fly that airline and I will tell them exactly why.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I usually have to ask for an extender but the flight attendants have always been pleasant and discrete about it. That is just crazy!!!
OMG. I am flying to NYC in August for business and have been busting my butt at the gym b/c I am afraid of the same scenerio. I too need about 2-3 inches more to buckle my seat belt. I’ve asked for extenders before and have had it happen very discreetly, but I have not flown since last summer. Here’s hoping Continental is a little bit more discreet for me. Sorry about your incident! It’s crazy, b/c a man my size would never get the same treatment!
This is outrageous. You should totally report her or tell the media about this ridiculous “joke”. It’s not joking. She’s insulting you and no one is laughing!! This is crazy. I almost can’t buckle my seatbelt before and I didn’t know that I can ask for an extension belt. I just breathe in and buckle it, and can’t breathe and eat for the whole trip.
Some people are socially total awkward. I’m glad to read that you kept your ground. Are you planning to make a complaint?
Please complain. The flight attendant’s behavior was inappropriate.
In the end, how was the situation rectified? Did you get a seat belt extender?
I am sorry you experienced that kind of behavior from that flight attendant.
I rarely fly that airline.
When I was travelling to Eurpore, I was treated poorly by the Air France staff in Paris. I had to check in, for some reason, in Paris before getting on a flight for either Pau or Rome (I cannot recall which). The Air France kept staring at me. They made me check my carry on although the very slim well dressed European woman who checked in ahead of me was allowed to go through without checking her uber sized bag. Skinny privilege I guess.
You ought to write United and complain. That attendent needs to be disciplined for her lack of judgement.
Something along the lines of “FUCKING BITCH” crossed my mind and I apologize for the language. I can not believe that anyone in their right mind would think that would be an appropriate time or place to be making a joke. I am absolutely disgusted with how she handled the situation, and sadly I would have spent days being pissed off and crying. I hope that you took the time to file a complaint, and if you didn’t I hope that you will consider it. That kind of treatment is just NOT acceptable!
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Although I must say I don’t agree with other’s comments that they’ll never fly the airline again. The airline may have no idea how their employee is behaving, and they should be told.
But then, I don’t believe in condoning or praising any company on one person’s actions whether rude or outstanding. She was obviously rude and incredibly inappropriate. And she should have to answer for her actions toward you.
Personally, I would write a letter to the airline with my complaint and how this has affected your viewpoint of their company.
People have no compassion! I just found your blog and I am so inspired by your willingness, to share your stories on this journey! Way to go. I too struggle with weight but I hate the gym. I found a new way of exercising that isn’t so intimidating. I workout online. There are a few different options but I use a site called http://www.youcanmakeitfit.com. They have tons of guided workouts that can be done anywhere you have an internet connection. Just thought I would share. Keep up the great work and thanks for inspiring the rest of us.
I rarely comment, but read regularly. This is outrageous…just outrageous. This was abusive and a real customer service nightmare should you complain. This woman was not being funny, she was being cruel.
I cannot even articulate how awful that must have been. I had a similar experience at Six Flags not too long ago, and I never want to go through anything like that again. I am so sorry she treated you so terribly. Best wishes!
What the hell?!! Well bravo to you for keeping your cool. I wouldn’t have been able to handle such a demeaning situation with such grace. I’d call and complain immediately!
I agree with Juice,
I hope you got her name, badge number and the name of her supervisor. Then write a very professional letter to United describing the harassment received by their employee. Tell them about all the witnesses. Hint of a lawsuit. Copy your imaginary lawyer. Probably nothing would come from it but it would make me (oops! I mean you) feel good.
But maybe you don’t need such a letter. Congrats for not letter the bad behavior of others spoil your trip!
Oh my goodness! That is awfully cruel. Just terrible. I’m so sorry! I hope you took her name and complained about her.
That’s horrible. and unfortunately becoming all too common.
I am so sorry you had to go through that. I applaud your courage and strength. I would have spent the flight crying in the bathroom.
I don’t fly anymore because of this scenario that you’ve just described. I don’t want to have it. I would have been red-faced! I’ve driven thousands of miles over the past 2 years because of my unwillingness to fly anymore. The last time I tried flying I could barely get the seat belt clicked.
I finally found a reasonable workaround…Amtrak.
She was an absolute bitch.
I don’t believe it. I mean I believe YOU… but I don’t believe her. Bitch…C**t! (we save that one for moments such as these) I am terribly sorry that you had to go through that. She needs an asskicking.
OMG, this has to be one of the WORST stories I’ve ever heard in my life– humiliating for you, and absolutely unacceptable behavior from a “service” provider. You are a powerful writer, so I would power up your ‘puter and write a letter to the CEO of the airline and if you don’t remember this glorified flying waitress’s name tell her/him exactly what flight you were on and demand redress. Unbelievable!
Seriously, I might have punched her in the face for you and then gotten kicked off the plane myself for being “too violent” to the mean flight attendant. Of course she was probably a size 2 and eats everything in the world with not one day of exercise…what a BITCH.
PS…I don’t think a seat belt will save anyone from a plunge to the ground from 50,000 feet…
OUCH. I totally feel your pain. I had a similar incident on United last year to Vegas although they didn’t completely humiliate me, just my personal flogging.
My complaint is really simple…60 percent of the US is overweight. Very few people fit comfortably in those 19″ seats.
Did the man next to you have trouble buckling his belt? Again, physics would say that he should have been in the same position, but I’ve seen it work where fat guy can pull that belt just under his stomach and it buckles.
Thank you for the post! I know we all feel that way when we fly.
Wow, that is horrible! Even though she was joking, that’s ridiculously insensitive. Shame on United Airlines!
That is just an awful story. You need to call the airline and demand your money back and an apology.
I am speechless. As if flying isn’t anxiety-provoking enough for larger people, but seriously, that would rank up there with one of my biggest nightmare situations.
You handled it with grace which is more than I would have done.
That woman should NOT work with the public. That was not funny! Would she make a comment like that to someone in a wheelchair whose chair didn’t quite fit well in a space. OMG, I’m just appalled.
I admire your courage, because I would have been mor-ti-fied. It’s so hard to handle situations where your weight is an issue. Like when I went to the amusement park with my friends and I couldn’t ride half of the rides because my hips are too big! I was so embarrassed! But I agree with the other comments, call/write United Airlines and let them have it! Did you get her name? She needs to be FIRED!
Hi,
I just found your blog via a random internet search. And it’s really funny that i’ve stumbled on this post, because I’m flying to Ireland in October for my Honeymoon and was just feeling kind of paranoid about not fitting on the airplane…
I’m a size 18, and I don’t fly AT ALL. Your story had me really embarrassed, and furious for you! I can’t believe how unprofessional and insensitive that woman was.
I once worked at a carnival as a ride operator, and it was really heartbreaking watching people struggle into the seat and try to lower the bar — that summer, I must have turned down at least a dozen people. I was always really sympathetic and as discreet as possible about it, but it really makes you think, what if I was in that situation??
Anyway, I will totally enjoy reading your blog, I’m starting up a “fat girl” blog myself and I think I just found loads of inspiration!
p.s.: you’re beautiful!
This and a laundry list of other reasons are why I do not fly United or US Airways. Both airlines have horrible customer service.
I really hope you report this treatment to the airline. This is a disgrace. The way many Americans treat overweight people is sickening. I really think that there needs to be consideration for overweight Americans in legislation. Discrimination agaisnt anyone because of their race, weight, sexual orientation, etc. should all be protected equally.
Good for you that you kept a positive attitude!
Oh
My
God
I cannot believe someone had the NERVE to be so rude!!!!! That is insane!!!