I just had my first massage, oh, about 30 minutes ago. It went on for an hour and a half and I've never felt more relaxed, more calm or more complete. I feel feather weight and shielded.
Massages have been high on my list of things I wasn't doing because of my weight. Not anymore. Every roll, lump, crease, was massaged. Every muscle moved, and brought back. I was naked under a sheet and could have cared less. My feet weren't smooth, my polish chipped, my legs haphazardly shaved. Who cares?
I'm a new woman. I have entered the world of massage, there is no looking back. This was a gooood wedding gift.
Relaxed.
I've been enjoying the health care discussion on the comments. I like discussion, it's healthy, even if heated.
What else? I'm giving up meat.
This has been a long time coming. I can't say I won't miss it, especially the slow roasted and local stuff, but I can't ignore what I feel much longer. Each and every time I cook meat, I feel...remorse, sadness and unhealthy about it. When we walk, we pass the cows, and I really enjoy them. I like talking to them and staring in their eyes and don't think "wow, I bet you taste good" i think "wow, its a shame I've been eating you".
We have chickens. We had seven and now three. Something else got to them, how could I be sad about it when I have chicken in the freezer? I notice that when I eat, it isn't the meat I am ever really enjoying. It is everything around it. I'm not ready to give up fish/eggs. Although feel more conflicted about where they come from than anything else.
I look at all of the fish when I got to food lion, it is all from Chile or Vietnam. That couldn't be good for me. I am only buying local farm eggs and take the occasional dozen from the lady at work so those are things I don't feel bad about health wise.
Its just weighing on my mind for awhile and I feel like I've been denying and pushing away from my feelings about it because they weren't comfortable or familiar. What would life be like without meat? Sure, if starvation was the option, I would eat meat. But, that isn't the case in my life right now, obviously.
Meat that I feel good about eating is hard to come by. No one is eating meat that is raised locally and who knows what they are eating or what the process is. This is just one small change I'm willing to make.
Relaxed.
Yeah right! You are always saying your going to lose weight and you dont. You have been the same damn weight the whole year I have been reading your blog. You make a lot of promises to do this and that and u dont do shit. Why don’t you just stop making promises and create a blog about being and staying fat since you seem to be really good at committing to that! I’m not just tryin to be mean but I’m tired of reading your lies!
Oh wow, this makes me want to get a massage myself. The only problem is I’m ticklish.
Hi Lorrie,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but this is the first time I’ve posted. I really wanted to say good for you for deciding to give up meat - I know that it can be a really hard decision to make and one that many people just don’t get, particularly as our society encourages us to see animals as possessions that we can do what we like with rather than sentient beings that have a right to be treated with compassion. I really hope that your first few meat free days are OK - it really does get easier once you settle into a groove (and develop some rockin veggie recipes!). And provided you don’t go overboard on the cheese to make up for it, it should be great weight-wise…
xx
Wow, Sad to see that Anon got the first comment. What a hater!
It’s so interesting that you have come to the decision to stop eating meat, I just decided the same thing in the last week or so myself. I just kept opting out of eating meat, which eventually makes me a vegetarian I suppose. I’d recommend the movie Food, Inc. to anyone who wants to learn more.
Anyway, I say good for you! I completely understand your reasons on this one. Hope you post some tasty recipes. I would recommend this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102854605
Anon- I don’t disagree, I have gained and lost the same weight for a long time now. This is my journey and like so many other people losing/trying to lose weight, my story isn’t all that unique. I’m not giving up, and yes I do break promises to myself, but we all do on some level or another.
I get excited about being healthy and then my old habits creep back in. If it takes 5 years to change and wake up, then I’d rather go through this then never try. I’m not going to give up because I’ve broken promises. This blog is my outlet for that, to see patterns which are obvious or not so obvious.
I am a nice person, I am creative, I am resourceful, I have a loving husband/friends/family and have a sense of humor even about comments like yours and if the worst thing that I do is not lose weight then my body will punish me in the long run. You can save the judgment, I’m not so easy to break.
If your comment is trying to produce guilt or an “aha!” moment of clarity and change, then I’m afraid you’re too late in stating what I obviously already know about myself and think about daily as it is.
Your observation may be more far reaching than you think. Stress and the hormonal cascade of events that it causes can lead to very stubborn excess weight. You can get pretty creative if you think of different ways to incorporate stress reduction just as you would think of different meals to eat or exercise routines to do.
Keep up the good work,
Dr. Ron
The current thought of getting a massage = terrifying. Omigosh what if someone doesn’t just notice I’m fat, but they feel it too?! (gasp!)
I really liked your post and am dabbling with the idea myself… must.find.the.courage…
I *hate*hate*hate* that large folks (or those who see imperfections in themselves) put off getting massage. I am an overweight person. I have about 80-90 pounds to lose. I am a massage therapist and I KNOW the benefits of frequent massages (or even infrequent massages). Sure, larger folks have different considerations, like often increased knee strain and back pain related to carrying around the extra weight. BUT… Massage can help that. Plus, it releases feel-good hormones, which can really get you “high” and take the place of that food high! Really! I love working with all types of people. I have worked on infants and 90-year-olds, people with all of their body parts, people missing things, morbidly obese, anorexic… massage can help the majority of them, as long as there are no major contraindications.
BUT… I used to be just like the folks who I’m fussing about. My first professional massage I left my pants on and just asked her to work above the waist. But you know what? To the MT, it’s just flesh. Flesh with its own set of issues. Take the plunge and give it a try!
I have only been reading for a few weeks, and was a vegetarian for years, really enjoyed it - Good Luck!
But Anon, you are a jerk, if you are tired of reading the “lies,” then don’t. Take the blog off of your favorites list and move the hell on.
Great job responding Lorrie. Wish I could be as rational as you.
Lorrie, I love your blog- it’s one of the first ones I read when I discovered weight loss/fitness blogs this summer. I just wanted to say that your response to “Anon” was incredibly gracious, thoughtful, and… well, awesome! Your response floored me. I’m probably much too old to be saying this, but you rock!
All I know is I sure did like the lamb sausage at Over the Moon. Good luck with the move to vegetarianism (if that is a word…and if it isn’t good luck anyway).
nathan- haha i actually haven’t eaten there, but hear its really good :). I’ll admit I was sad to think about my favorite tandoori chicken. maybe i should be a “localtarian”
Hey Lorrie,
I have been reading your blog for awhile now and you don’t typically seem to get very many negative comments, thankfully. But for some reason, you have recently…so this got me thinking, can you see people’s IP addresses? I would bet you a dollar they are all the same person, *cough Britt, *cough Joselyn, *cough Anon
On any note, keep doing what you feel is right. No need to listen to other people’s unwarranted opinions.
I’ve never had a massage. Ever. Someday though. It’s part money and part self-consciousness about my body. I’m workin’ on it.
Also it sounds like you’re giving up meat for the right reasons, so good for you. (Does that mean you changed your meals at BlogHer to vegetarian?)
Tegan, I know right? I should, but I’m so lazy about that sort of thing.
maybe though
FB- I would not have even thought of that, thanks for the reminder! *doing that right now*
Feel free to look up my IP address. I don’t know who Britt is, her comment only compelled me to leave a comment myself. And I definetly don’t know who Anon is and his/her comment was most definetly mean and uncalled for. Is it so hard to believe that there is more than one person who is willing to give their honest opinion without sugar coating it first?
I’ve been thinking about the meat thing for a while too. I’m not ready to give it up, but I should investigate more humane sources. I do eat a lot of venison that a friend of mine hunts. I don’t have a problem with that. We have a severe overpopulation of deer in this area. Plus I think of venison as local and (semi) organic! I need to watch Food, Inc as well as Supersize Me. I think both will impact my eating habits.
Lorrie, have you considered looking at a local meat market? Often times they have locally raised meat.
Glad you enjoyed the massage. I made the move a couple of years ago into the wonderful world and I have not looked back since. I get one monthly now.
You’ll be back! Suuuure you feel sorry for the chickens and cows, but the pig will be your downfall. Bacon sandwiches anyone?
I can’t be the judge of your ethics regarding meat, but ‘fat’ vegans and vegetarians overload on sugar and processed flour products because of cravings brought about from lack of protein.
It’s these kinds of imbalances that almost force us to make unhealthy food choices that most people (in my opinion) confuse with the concept of ’self control’. You body needs protein, period. I hope you like chick peas and lentils, with vegetables as these two food groups should make up 75% of your plate if you want to lose weight.
Good for you! Deciding to go veg and breaking through the massage barrier are both big deals.
May I recommend the hot stone massage? It’s absolutely intoxicating and supposedly does an amazing job removing toxins from your system.
This Anon person is getting pretty annoying. S/he’s complaining about your honesty in regards to your weight yet s/he can’t sign her freakin’ name to a comment? Pot… kettle…?
Rock on, chica! And checkout Mark Bittman’s “How to Cook Everything Veg” book. Lots of great uses for veggies and grains.
I’m glad you enjoyed your massage! I’ve never had one either…..(something about having a stranger rubbing my rolls LOL) but I’m going to get over it and enjoy treating myself to a spa day!
I just found your blog and I am really enjoying reading it. I haven’t eaten meat in over 15 years. If you’d like some recipes, email me!
Massage - now thats my kind of workout!
Great blog… loved it. Keep it up and…
Never Stop Movin’!
M
Absolutely love massages but the only time we have done them was a couples massage at the resort we go to in Jamaica. It’s everything I ever imagined and more. Glad you enjoyed yours!
You could be a locavore flexitarian, which is probably the same thing as a localtarian. All these labels confuse me.
How true, those damn massages are for people of all sizes…Ive gone twice and still scared to go back.
You are so inspiring to me, so want to say thank you and look forward to your posts.
PS hope married life is treating you well too…
PPS I simply love and adore my husband, and I know there is nothing better than saying those few words
Wow, Anon why do you care? No one asked you to read this blog. Chose something else to read if this site doesn’t work for you!
Great to hear about the massage, so jealous. The first one I had was on a cruise where I knew I would never see the MT again, I was hooked. They are wonderful. Pearl, you are awesome thanks for encouraging us all to get a massage..and that MT aren’t thinking evil thoughts about our bodies. As a nurse, I am always telling my patients they are fine when I have to do something that is embarrassing to them like wash their bottom etc. As a nurse just like MT we are trained to focus on the “Person” doesn’t matter how big or small you are. And I know it is hard to share your nakedness with others…Lorrie pls continue to blog when you can. I enjoy your thoughts and the thoughts of other bloggers! Pearl your name fits you perfectly.
Mmmmm…. a massage sounds heavily. Last Christmas we received gift certifates at work for a massage. I’ve been hiding it away, thinking I’ll use it when I really need it, because you know, skinnier people need massages more than fat people, right? You have made me see the error of my ways! I’m not going to save it for later when I feel more comfortable or when I think I deserve it. I’m glad I found your page!
I can relate. I started a blog last month about losing weight and was very hesitant to do so because it was scary putting myself out there like that. I have actually found a very successful weight loss system that is the only thing that has ever worked for me (www.myskinnyplan.com). I think for me, posting about my journey has been well worth it because it has motivated me to keep losing inches because people are watching.
You made me laugh with that massage episode! I’ve never had a massage and have been wanting one for ages. Thank you. I think I’m ready to go get one. Thank you, thank you, thank you.