I'm writing a quick post between stuffing clothes, books and housewares into bags to take to the local thrift store. I've needed to do this for awhile and there is a good chance that I am missing a lot today. I'm trying to make a new ritual of going to the thrift shop to donate rather than to bring home at least once a month.
I'm asking myself "do i feel good when i wear this?" and realizing that I have sooo many clothes and stuff that I don't need and doesn't even make me feel good having it/wearing it. I also noticed on a gross note, that I have some underwear/bras that I've been wearing for a very long time. That needs to change too.
Thanks for your comments/advice/support yesterday regarding my decision to try out not eating meat. Some folks in my life, well, you would have thought I said I was deciding something way more strict and complicated than "not eating meat" feels. I don't call myself a vegetarian, because I'm not. I'm not going to throw up if I find meat in my food, or make a huge deal about it. I find that, in general I don't think meat adds a lot to my food and unless it is high quality it tends to take away from it.
Last night I made pancakes from scratch (yes pancakes, fat girl ate pancakes, please comment) and they were so good. And notably better than anything you could get from any pancake house. Why? I used high quality ingredients. That is how meat is for me, I don't see a point in eating it unless it is local/organic/ high quality. The thought of animal lots, and hormones and the brutal killings that happen in a lot of the cheap/low quality meat I consume seems, pointless.
I wish I had more of a lighthearted/funny tone to my writing because in my real life I'm silly and try not to take myself too seriously. I joke a lot, so I guess that is why I find it strange that I get such serious comments about the whims of who I am. I just don't care sometimes, I will try anything and don't have a lot of brain space to worry about judgment. I'm always up to trying new stuff, and figuring things out. Its a constant habit of mine. Yes, there are things I don't stick with, but I feel like challenging myself to do what isn't comfortable or easy is essential and fun.
It just annoys me because I know I will get comments like "why are you eating processed foods when you are giving up meat?" "fat people tend to eat more carbs and sugar when they don't eat meat" "you are fat, you should only eat raw food" "are all of your foods organic?" "stop eating and you won't be fat"
I don't mind it, I just kind of regard it in the same way I do when my mom (hi mom!) reminds me to do really obvious stuff like wearing a coat when it's snowing, or paying my bills on time. As a fat person, I have read more about food, nutrition, exercise, dieting, calories, weight lifting and weight loss than more thin people have.
It's not like I'm saying in here daily I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM FAT. Because, oh, I do. I don't blame my fatness on genes or a slow metabolism, and never have. I love comments and I will approve every single one of them regardless of content (unless you have a spam blog) so keep em' coming. I find it totally weird that I even get comments in the first place. People are reading?
I did an interview with Weight Watchers Australia and wanted to share:
What made you set up a blog about your weight loss experience?
I started blogging around November 2006, a couple of months after moving to NYC. When I arrived I weighed anywhere between 315 and 320 lbs. I don’t know the exact number because I had a hard time finding a scale that would give me a number instead of an error sign.
New York is a walking city and it wasn’t long after I moved there that I dropped 20 lbs. and decided that I wanted to share my story.
How has the success or popularity of that blog grown since it started? How many hits per day or people reading your blog in an average day or month?
I’ve been blogging for about 2 ½ years now and I’ve gone from 500 unique visitors a week to about 13,000 a week. Companies are finding me now. I’ve been asked to review diets, books, products, food, and even audition for weight loss shows. I will admit that I have a tendency to “check-out” of blogging for a bit and then come back in with renewed excitement which isn't always the best route for successful blogging. I know what it takes to have a popular blog, it’s just a matter of doing it. You have to care enough about wanting a popular blog and that drive will make it happen. However, being popular has never been a goal of mine.
What do you think are the benefits of blogging for people who want to lose weight?
They say that one of the best things you can do to lose weight is to find a network of support and that is what blogging does. I’ve found that my blog has helped with accountability and not giving up. I’ve not been a huge weight loss success, but I’ve lost weight and I keep going. Writing about your experience helps me to grow, pinpoint weight loss patterns and allows me to go back and learn from my past mistakes.
Are there any potential downsides to it?
For me, having so many people read my blog can be a little strange. I’m very open about my feelings and tend to go through waves and moods just like anyone else, however, if my mom or a friend were to read about a bad day, they may feel like I need counseling or want to talk about it. Writing helps me to release feelings and emotions; it allows me to move on from a situation. Chances are, if I've written about it, then I'm already over it.
What has been some of the highlights of the blogging experience for you?
Blogging gives me an outlet and a way to connect with people I may not have otherwise ever met in "real life". I used to get really embarrassed about people knowing how much I weigh or even knowing about my issues with food. And now, I hold nothing back. My weight does not cause shame or embarrassment, which for me was always connected with denial. I’m able to face problems head-on in a way I never was able to before. I get emails every day, mostly from women who thank me just for writing candidly about the struggle to lose weight. My blog has given me a source of confidence despite being the “token fat girl”.
What do you feel you've got out of blogging and what do you feel your blog site gives to other people?
I feel like my previous answer sums up what I get out of blogging. My biggest hope would be for my blog to let overweight people know that despite their weight, they can live their lives exactly how they want to at any weight. I want to lose weight for my health and to not feel so out of place, but I still function in society. I am happily married, make a living doing what I love, go hiking, take classes and enjoy life. I feel that we eat to substitute for happiness, love and fulfillment which causes us to distance ourselves even more from our needs causing a cycle where we are constantly trying to fill a void with food. When we allow ourselves to live the way we dream, regardless of the number on the scale then we regain control over the direction of our lives. When I put myself in the front seat of my life, overeating often takes a back seat.
What has been the feedback you've received about the blog that has shown you how effective it is?
I get positive feedback on blog entries and in very personal, heartfelt emails. This has shown me the power of words and their ability to reach people despite distance and cultural differences. Technology has had a way of distancing us, but also bringing us together in a way that has never before happened. When I meet people from my blog they are meeting a dynamic person with layers and complexities, not just the outside personality that we show someone upon our first meeting.
Any tips for our magazine readers who are thinking of blogging about their weight loss journey?
Make it work for you. If you are a computer person who frequents the internet, blogging can be a great way to document your weight loss efforts. You can write about your day, share what meals you’re eating, show progress pictures, celebrate weight loss and find a network of support.
Leave comments on other blogs. This is the best way to find new readers and add to your network of support. Create accountability with your readers. Blog your daily menu with pictures, show a picture of yourself at the gym, start blog challenges with your friends, and find your own unique voice to share your journey.
I can identify with a lot you’ve written about and I am also going to start the ritual of donating clothes I don’t wear or need. I have tons and I’ve usually just been too lazy to pack them up and ship them off. I work on that this week.
I’ve also started a blog (very recently) to chronicle my weight loss and I definitely agree that there is a sense of accountability. Almost like you’re not just letting yourself down but others as well. It’s a great motivator.
This is my first comment here by the way…usually I just lurk in the shadows.
Well, I enjoy reading your blog. And besides life is too short to live up to the expectations of others.
Also, I rarely eat meat for the reason that I like veggies more. The other day a co-worker thought that I was a vegetarian which I am not. I just eat what sounds good to me. Sometimes it is fish tacos but most of the time it is a bean burrito.
Jaye
I think you have a great attitude about the comments you get. YOU know your body, your lifestyle and your personality. The people commenting (including me), only see a very small side of you.
You are not giving up, and that’s the most important thing – the rest will come in time.
People *are* reading! And many of us are glad you eat pancakes–pancakes are delicious.
Thanks for sharing the interview. I look forward to coming back to read it once I get a little more downtime.
I love your blog! I just started but am having a great time, I hope I can inspire a few people myself eventually. Good luck and continued success!
You do such a great job staying true to yourself and not taking negative comments too hard. I really appreciate that – it’s great to see.
Nice interview! Thanks for sharing.
Your blog is great! I’m not too sure where about you live (no worries no need to share
) but where I live, to buy meat knowing where it comes from I can contact any farmer around me. If they don’t do organic surely they can point to someone who does. Also we eat alot of wild meat, but not too sure how oraganic it is considering what the animal eats ( farmers crops that are probably treated) By contacting an organic farmer you can order 1/2 beef, chicken (which is a HUGE difference to store bought variety) and cheaper in the long run compared to stores that carry organic meat….meaning cut out the middle man…supermarkets. Hope this helps
You have a great attitude. Great post.
“(yes pancakes, fat girl ate pancakes, please comment)” … I cannot be the only person who loved this line. Hilarious! Now every time I order pancakes at a restaurant, I’ll worry that someone’s judging me.
Hey Jen- I live in Southwest Virginia, which actually has great resources for local meat eating. It is getting better over time as the demand is getting higher and something I’m considering…only local/organic meat (where ever I happen to be) a step that seems to make my husband sigh in relief haha
Hi, Jen. I just found your blog on a search out of boredom. Thank you so much. I was kind of in a rut and you totally just gave me that extra little push I needed to stick w/ it. I really enjoy reading about your adventures in weight loss. I don’t know you at all, but I feel like it’s having a conversation w/ a friend who is going through the same thing. Thanks for being an inspiration to others.
Good luck w/ the no-meat thing,
keila
Sorry Lorrie, I just called you Jen and then pushed the submit button with that same stupid feeling that I get when I know that I am locking my keys in my car – as I’m doing it.
I was reading Jen’s post about checking into organic meat and I thought it was really interesting, so I had that on the brain (when don’t I have food on the brain) and well, I apologize.
keila
Hi! I just wanted to say that your wedding pics are SO lovely!
With regards to not eating meat, I started doing the exact same thing back in February when I gave up meat for Lent. So, for a while I didn’t eat any meat but seafood and eggs. But after Lent was over, I was wondering whether to eat meat again. I was having trouble eating enough protein so I SLOWLY integrated some meat back in. But I’m still grossed out about the whole meat-processing business and the cruel way animals are treated so I eat meat only when 1) it’s a superior-quality meat like filet mignon and 2) when I’m a guest at someone’s house and I don’t want to be a rude and difficult guest. I don’t eat meat during the work week. If there’s a meatless option, I choose that, always. I feel so much healthier! And I lost 5 lb effortlessly!
I have no idea why some people take other people’s vegetarianism so personally. My brother and sister in law are veggies and my grandparents act as if they’ve decided to try cannibalism instead! I commend your choice! Personally, I try to eat only locally grown, meat. Where I can go visit the cows/chickens/pigs and see that they are able to walk around, breathe fresh air and “enjoy” the life they have.
Also, I love your blog, I think you are so cute and fashionable and I can’t wait to see more wedding pics. Beautiful!
You are so right, cooking at home and using good quality products enhances the food so much more. Last night my husband prepared sushi. It was fabulous.
It doesn’t matter what decisions in life one makes, there will always be someone somehwere that will criticize. Good for you, for standing up for yourself and not being afraid to say what you feel.
You’ve heard it before, but you are an inspiration to so many.
I just stumbled across your blog, and have to say: Way to Go! It’s hard to be so open about weight issues…especially when your life feels almost run by the choices you make regarding weight. I’ve just started my own “weight loss journey” blog, and was looking for inspiration…it’s only been a week and I feel like quitting already
Good luck (and cute wedding pics, by the way…awesome shoes)
cleanslatecleanplate@blogspot.com
Well, I’m not a naturally thin person and I come from a heavy family. So I’ve done a lot of reading to get here. And in most conversations I have with fat friends and family, there is a huge element of self-deception. In your case, I wonder if the “I know why I’m fat” is why you’re fat. Maybe assuming you know what to do or blaming your discipline is at fault? I don’t eat pancakes, to the point of not having the ingredients around, but when I do crave something like that I’d make it with a scoop of protein powder and high-grain carbs to make something healthy. However, pancakes at home are better than so many other options. Life isn’t either/or, dieting or not. It’s making better choices all the time. You don’t have to make perfect choices just to improve from where you are.
Hi Lorrie, I found your blog by way of Roni. I just wanted to comment on the no meat yet not being a vegetarian. I am a meat lover from way back. I used to say that my two favorite foods ‘that I couldn’t live without’ were sweets and meat. But as I have gone along on my weight loss/healthier eating journey, meat has become less and less a part of my daily diet. I probably do have one small (2-4 oz) piece most days, but it is not a big deal if I don’t have meat every day. That is such a huge change for me. I also agree with the high quality meat.
Second, the pancakes. I have pancakes once in a while, and it is a hungry girl recipe that is fabulous, and I actually don’t get hungry til noon when I eat these pancakes for breakfast. I have it posted on the sidebar on my blog if you want to check the recipe out.
Nice blog, I will be checking back. Hope you had a blast at BlogHer!
Nice wedding pictures
I found this blog through google today. I love it. Thanks for sharing your journey. Good luck with the no-meat diet. I’m vegan and I get a lot of crap for it. People always ask,”Why aren’t you skinny if you’re a vegan?” So freakin’ annoying. I think I’ll try to think more like what you do instead of taking it so personally.
I guess this is the part where you tell me, Yes-I’ve tried going meatless… LOL. So, are you still veg?