There is a truth about me, that I like to deny because I always have stuff to do, but I am not a workaholic. And sometimes I wish I was and I'm not totally sure why.
I need sleep, I need time where I do nothing, and I need time alone. Those are three things that I require to function. Despite knowing this, I will pile things on my to-do list, get six hours of sleep, and continue going until I can't anymore. Why do I have the need to be lazy? Why do I need do-nothing time to sit on the couch and read?
Part of me, believes that this is normal and needed and so many people deny this aspect of themselves. And then another part of me resents it and wishes that I could do something during every waking hour of the day. I struggle with time management, which I've mentioned before, and know I'm not alone.
My before work and after work time is precious to me, but it seems that is flies by at lightening fast speed. If I get up at 5:30am and exercise until 6:15 that gives me until about 6:45 to get ready for work if I want to be there by 7. And then leave at about 3:45. Get home at 4 and have seven hours before eleven, but really should go to bed at 10.
In those hours, I always hope to accomplish: cleaning, blogging, making art, sometimes more exercise and various other projects that I like to work on. And sometimes all I seem to get done this week is: exercise, work, cooking dinner and reading. I'm trying to not feel guilty about this. I have all of these ideas about what I don't want my life to be like and a time waster and tv watcher are not one of them, yet I get tired.
I'm rambling, but to say that when I'm not blogging, I'm resting. I have so much to blog about. This week is beauty week, and with that I made my first all-afternoon salon appointment for today, which of course, I will share. I never go to the salon. I'm also taking a tour of a local dairy farm. I have pending fall fashion posts that are coming. Most of my weekend was spent creating for the arts and crafts show that is coming up in a week and a half.
So I'm here, I'm just moving at snails pace this week and taking time to do nothing which despite wishing I had boundless energy, I know that I need. Today is day nine of Jillian's 30 day shred, we're on level two. Its crazy! My scale is broken, I went from 265 to 313 to 298 to 251 this morning. I have a lot I want to share about the daily exercise, its coming too 
You are definitely not alone in this! I’m the same – a to-do list a mile long but most of the time I end up reading or surfing the net or watching TV.
I’m sure it’s for our sanity we need the down time! I’m envious of people who are as productive as I wish I was, but I’m glad I’m not that busy and am able to make the time to rest and take everything in.
It might feel good to get everything done, but if you don’t have time to enjoy it what’s the point? It’d be nice to have time for both, I’m sure it’s possible and that people can do it but I’m too lazy to work it out!!
Don’t worry Lorrie. You are perfectly normal! How do you do what you need to do, have time for what you want to do and still have quiet relaxing time. I used to go until I dropped.
Now I’m lazy sometimes and it’s hard when there is somuch to be done around me, but I just remind myself that if I can’t get motivated to do it- maybe my body or mind is telling me something.
On the flip side- when I feel like creating, or cleaning or what-have-you, I try to roll with that because I never know when I’ll feel like doing it again. I just have to put off whateve I was going to do and take advantage of my mood.
It’s not a perfect system and can still leave me feeling a little stressed or frustrated but I do accomplish things and still have time for me when I need it.
I hope you find what works for you!
Good Luck
Michelle
I absolutely *LOVE* your blog! You are fabulous and beautiful! Keep up the great work and the move towards health and fitness.
I’m with you on the road to weight loss. I’ve dropped 90 lbs. in the past 13 months, and I have quite a bit more to go, but I look and feel better than I have in years!
Keep up the blogging! LOVE IT!
Dagny
Congrats for sticking to the shred. I have it at home and I did 2 days of it and then stopped. I should try again..
And about being “lazy” its not really laziness..everyone needs to re-charge. Work can be a real energy zonk and as we get older, it becomes harder to have this ‘abundant energy’. I think it is a balance..I always strive for it, but then I realize that I’ll be happy if I just get to a portion of what I have planned out for myself.
I wish that I could take the time I need for myself during the week, but lately, it just seems that I am constantly at work. I think I get maybe 3 hours of time at home when I’m not at work (or getting ready for work, or on my way to work, etc.) or sleeping, and then I spend at least an hour of that on cooking.
I get a lot of downtime while at work, but you can’t take that time to go exercise or bake a cake. It’s wasted internet time.
The problem with this is that on the weekends, when I SHOULD want to go out and do things and be active, I always just want to stay in the house and lay around and read and be lazy because I never got to do that during the week.
Maybe one day I’ll have a job with normal hours
I need downtime too! And apparently more sleep than others (although I suspect they actually need more sleep and are just denying it!). I constantly overschedule myself and then literally make myself sick from the stress of it. The good news is that when I’m sick, I get the downtime I need. I just wish I was better at balancing so that I didn’t need to get to that sick point! I’m working on simplifying over the next 40 days. I’ll probably blog about it soon.
I am in the same boat. I make a huge list of things to do, but never get through most of them. Procrastination is a wonderful thing.
Yikes, that scale is enough to give anyone a complex!
-meream
I also need a lot of time to myself, and a lot of time to do nothing. Like you, I wonder if everyone needs this and the majority of people just deny it? Or am I truly different? I think both are partly true.
I think most people would rather do nothing during their free time than something. There’s something so pure about just sitting with your thoughts. I choose to embrace it. =)
Sometimes you just NEED to do nothing and it refreshes you. Don’t feel guilty. There will ALWAYS be a “to do” list.
Kaye
I really think it sounds normal… needing down time. Throw five kids in the mix and you get extreme insanity trying to find an hour where *no one* is bothering you. I used to stay up until 1am just to get that hour of peace, but sleep ranks pretty high up there too.
I say enjoy your time after work and don’t try to clog it full of *stuff.* Maybe set aside ONE specific hour, or even two, where you sit and read or veg or watch tv, but make yourself do needed things outside of that specific time.
I know how you feel…There just aren’t enough hours in a day. More people would probably exercise if it were true. Between my 45hr week job, school, 4 year old, family, etc…I’m averaging about 5-6 hours a day too on sleep. I’m up about 5:30 for my jog then at work by 9. Of at 6pm and try my best to fit in another workout. I just hope that all this exercising will pay off with some good energy down the road. I hope you find some good quality time with yourself. THanks for brushing up on the importance of making “ME TIME” : )
I too tend to feel guilty if I am just laying around – I think of all the things I SHOULD be doing, like laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. But then I look at my husband who’s sitting next to me with his arm around me, and I realize I am doing the right thing!
Kudos on Jillian’s Shred – I once did all three at once! For some reason I thought it would only take me 40 minutes, considering I would fast forward through the warm up and cool downs between levels, but it took SIXTY minutes!
That being said, I only did it once!
Hey! I just stumbled on your blog today and LOVE it! I just recently joinred the blogging world to share my expierence and weight loss journey. In the last 9 months and about 3wks I have lost 149lbs the natural way of diet and working out. It has deff. been a hard thing but SO SO worth it! I love how you are using all natural foods and eating locally SO cool
). I also love how you used the Jillian 30 day shred, I think she is SO awesome and I love biggest loser 
). I am really looking forward to following your journey and reading your blog! Its so neat to see others trying to loose weight as well! Have a great wk!
~Kassandra
I am completely with you – I need a lot of time to myself and haven’t really gotten any lately. It makes me cranky and tired. We need to rethink our priorities.
Just found your blog and really like it…you are sooo cute! Anyway, have you ever taken the MBTI personality test? How introverted do you think you are? I am off the charts introverted, which means not that I don’t enjoy being around people–I do–but that it takes energy from me. Since I work in a people-oriented job (teaching), I find that I have to be very protective of my alone time. Sleep is part of my quality alone time.
Anyway, this post just resounded with me and just thought I’d share what I’ve found about myself.