with good intentions. I mean well, really I do, but it's really no wonder why I weigh 286 lbs. It's really not. Last night I got out my binder and wrote down my goals, really mapped out the next 9 weeks and everything I need/want to do. Where I want to be. I wrote specific goals starting with today, get up 6am exercise, eat breakfast, tend to daily work stuff, eat lunch, take a photo of myself, strength training at the gym, etc. You get the idea. I even wrote out meal ideas that are healthful and satisfying so there would be no question as to what to eat today.
So what happens? I get in bed around 10:30 (because I'm apparently on old person time) set my alarm for 6 am and go to sleep. I wake up at 4AM. yes, 4 am and proceeded to clean for two hours. Dishes, putting gifts away etc. 6am rolls around and I'm exhausted so I go to bed. I tell myself "only for an hour". I wake up and I can just feel that its later than 7am. The light outside is shining in a way that makes me cringe. I look at the clock and its 11:45 am! what!
For me, sleeping past 8am is unheard of. Sleeping past 9 is a travesty. I feel like I lose my entire day otherwise. My schedule is totally thrown off and I'm annoyed. And instead of just picking up where I left off I feel like I've just picked around on my to-do list not knowing where to start.
I ate really well today and had a nice salad for dinner: 
This salad made up for my over sleeping issues today. It was completely comforting. Baked chicken in ginger marinade, spinach, freshly grated parmesan, lettuce, diced green apple, a few chopped walnuts and a drizzle of Newman's lowfat ginger dressing. So good. I am not a fan of low fat dressings, but after having this at a friends house on Tuesday I was converted and went out the very next day and picked up a bottle. 35 calories per serving compared to my usual 160 in ranch. Make this sometime, you will feel good about it.
It's now 6:22pm and I still need to exercise and IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN (yelling at myself here.) I need to go to bed decently eary tonight because I start working 7 hours a week tomorrow doing (im told 
) website maintenance and graphic design. I'll be in a real office, with real people, wearing business casual attire. scary!
I have about 4 1/2 hours before bed (possibly 5 hours) and I need to: clean up dinner dishes, put the living room back together, work on tomorrow's blog posts, exercise with billy and jillian, update resume/print, shower, take incriminating "before" photo of myself, update food eaten today in (blog) log, pick out clothes for tomorrow, pack gym clothes (going to gym tomorrow when i leave) and lunch. Here we go! See you tomorrow!
Dont forget to get plenty of sleep!!!
Exercising is important but dont forget about self care!
I hate how getting off my schedule first thing can totally blow my day.
I should take responsibility. Let me try that again.
I hate my tendency to miss one thing in my plan and then I blow the rest of my day.
That’s better.
Girl, we can do this. I’m in it with you, babe. I am for real this time. Let’s just get this done.
Your dinner looks fab by the way. I’m jealous!
I second what Krissie said. BlogHer won’t be ready for our shiz.
Good luck to you! I know how hard losing weight can be … I have about 90 lbs to go myself! I am new to your blog but I plan on checking back here quite often to see how you are doing. Your good intentions will pay off if you keep focused!
I think it’s really brave to post these pics and will help you with accountability to see them here. I just recently did the same. I seek fellow people who are serious and forgiving and struggling with weight issues. I am pleased to find your blog. You have the right attitude…slow and steady!
Well I think that you look much better than I would if I were to wear that myself! Honestly I think I look bigger than you do and I’m 5’2″ and 184 lbs.
Hopefully in a year’s time you’ll be looking at these pics and laughing because you’d be half the size of that.
Good luck in your journey!