Figuring out what I want is key. Any time that familiar voice tells me "Well you could eat a pint of ice cream. No one would know. You could just start over tomorrow. You deserve it." I have a back up plan, and that plan is my mission. My mission is to do what is good for me, not what I think I deserve momentarily.
Binge eating takes me away from my mission. My mission is to be the best version of myself every day. To be present and engaged, to create, to be good to myself and my husband, to be good to others, to spread and share creativity and hope.
When I eat too much I can't participate. I can't be there for myself or anyone else. I have no energy, no hope, and no will to create or follow through with my mission. Food in excess robs me of time and I'm a firm believer that time is the most precious thing we have. How I spend that time is crucial. Not seeking perfection, but giving myself the best possible chance.
The struggle these past couple of weeks is knowing the difference between binge eating and frequent vs. occasional overeating. And being okay with this part of the journey which has not been completely effortless. But, I trust it eventually will be.
When I'm challenged I do two things. One, I realize that my desire to eat too much is just that, a desire. Acting on that desire means nothing more than getting out of the discomfort of having the urge. I don't force it away, I just sit with it. I also remind myself of my mission and the decision becomes more clear. Binge eating (or even frequent overeating) is not apart of my mission and the bigger picture of what I want for myself.
Do you have a mission?
I just want to say thank you for your posts and sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings. You help me by your words to see my eating problem a bit more clearer. To find an understanding in what I do and why I eat the way I do. When I lose control of eating and go on a binge I really beat myself up over it the next day to the point that I do not function well the entire day. I binged over the past weekend (Typical)and as I read your posts I realized not to be so hard on myself but to understand its ok and my life is not going to end because of my failure to have control but on the other hand I can try again and if I fail again I can try yet again and realize that its ok not to be perfect and when I fail I dont have to punish myself by starving or by going the exact oppisite and binging. But just by reminding myself Iam strong and I will give it another try. One day at atime and I think knowing that Im not perfect nor do I have to be is half the battle.
Thank you for this blog. You are such an inspiration. I struggle with similar issues and find strength and motivation through your words.
I’m so glad you wrote about this today. Part of recovering from B.E.D. for me was figuring out what I really wanted from this life, and recognizing that I couldn’t have that while I was in the food. I loved that you wrote, “When I eat too much, I can’t participate. I can’t be there for myself or anyone else.” So true! It reminded me of a quote from Geneen Roth that says, “Every time you ‘use’ food, you leave yourself. You walk out the door and leave yourself starving.”
Thank you!
I love your mission, it is so simple yet so important!
My mission is to be healthy and happy. I sometimes link the two together, though I don’t know if they neccessarily should be.
I love your mission! I think my mission is to be happy and healthy for my kids. I am so scared that if I don’t get my weight in control then I am going to miss out on being present and active in my children’s lives.
Yeah! I have the same mission.
I’ve been practicing eating when hungry and stopping when satisfied. I find myself wanting to eat the whole thing but my true self doesn’t want it. If we keep up the good work, hopefully we can create new eating habits …
“Food in excess robs me of time and I’m a firm believer that time is the most precious thing we have.”
I wholeheartedly agree with this. Time, and clarity about what we want to do with our limited time, is the most precious thing we have.
My long-term, lifetime mission is to be useful, brave, and wise. And I can’t be that while lost in the hell of binge eating disorder either.
Hi, I just found your blog and absolutely loved what read. You described so well how I also feel when I binge eat. The life seems a constant struggle between dieting and not dieting. I don´t know how to eat “normally”.
What a great post!! Ive been dealing with weight gain all my life. I am featuring a special on my blog starting in Feb. Come check it out.