Checkin in

Hello! Our internet has been down lately and should be back up soon. Using the internet at a cafe enjoying a slice of quiche. mmm quiche. I just spent an hour on the elliptical and did weight training and the elliptical yesterday. Getting back into the groove.
Anyhow, I'll be back soon!

The Eliptical: Instant Gratification

I have totally converted to the elliptical machine. After hearing Josh's mom rave about them at our gym, I couldn't help but give it a try again. I've been on the machine before and they scared me. They were fast and I felt weak on it. This time wasn't too different, I felt weak and then it got easier. I got used to the rhythm and before I knew it 45 minutes had passed and I burned close to 450 calories.

After seeing how hard I was working and how quickly calories were burning off I knew I could never go back to the stationary bike. Watching the calories add up pushed me even harder to keep going. That same amount of time on the bike usually burns 200 calories. I had my play list on and I just got in the zone with it. I wasn't bored at all.

So, it's Sunday and I'm going to work on some meal planning/prep for the week. I have a boot camp DVD that I'm going to give a go later on today, I'll let you know how it goes.

Its breakfast, man

Anyone else out there as dedicated to breakfast as I am? I've been a breakfast eater my entire life and never understood those who wake up and not want to eat. mm breakfast. On days that I went to school or work without breakfast I felt nauseous and sick and would dry heave in the bathroom. Not that you wanted to know that.

This morning I ate a pretty big breakfast which meals I won't be hungry again until about 7pm. I'm not sure if thats a good thing or not. I should really break my meals up more. I'm going to work on some meal planning and preparing this weekend for the coming week.

Exercise: going to the gym this afternoon and need to wash exercise clothes this weekend. I've used that as an excuse not to exercise too many times. But, I don't have any clean exercise pants!

My current weight loss goal is 259 (again) by October 10th. I've gotten a few emails about the 21 day challenge that I seriously stink at, but am game for round three anyone else?

Have you guys seen the awesome laptop boxes that Fat Brides Maid has been putting together lately? Click here and here to check them out! Anyone else putting together nice looking lunches?

Getting started...again

Went to the new gym on Tuesday. There are a few pluses and minuses compared to the gym in Brooklyn. The good? Less people, far less people. A steam room and sauna. Decent cardio machine selection. The low? Dated, weight machines although they still work well. 40 minute drive to and from. No personal TV's on cardio machines. Very few exercise classes.

We've broken our weight training into two sections for a twice a week visit. Workout A and B. Plus 45-60 minutes of cardio. Tomorrow is workout B. For the other days of the week cardio is at home.

And to what I've been wanting to blog about: balance. Does anyone else feel like weight loss is a constant state of on again, off, and then back on again? I want more balance in my weight loss efforts, to blur the lines between the days of trying to lose weight and the other more foggy days of stress, inconvenience and laziness.

I can see my own faults in other people: the diet game. I can't help but feel that true health and weight loss comes not when you start doing something new, but when you find a way to make what you currently do to work for your goals. I

What I mean is, there are principles of diet programs that I can really appreciate. However, every time I hear someone talk about the new diet they are on, or hear someone say they are trying the same diet that didn't work for them the first five times again I always wonder how successful they will be. I know that is negative, but I've been there and while I think there are isolated instances when diets do work, I always feel a pull in thinking "there must be a better way". Everything is so black and white with me and dieting, its this way or that way. I'm eating a lot or monitoring what I eat in a careful science. That is not balanced, and I feel like I've been using dieting and all that it entails as a crutch and its only keeping me fat longer.

The science of weight loss is very interesting to me. I found out recently that I could lose 3 lbs a week while eating 1,800 calories and with vigorous exercise for an hour a day. How cool is that? I know all about calorie counting, it is arduous and tedious at best. Sometimes when I'm not counting calories, I still find myself tallying them in my head at the end of the day.

It's not that I mind counting calories, I just don't see myself doing it for years and years. I agree eventually you get used to the amount of food you should eat. I think the calorie counting game gets especially tricky when it comes to maintenance, when you've gradually chipped away at your daily calorie allotment. I once heard Bob Greene say "I've never met anyone who should be eating less than 1,500 calories a day".

When I did weight watchers, I started out at about 34 points. And to be totally honest, part of me saw that number as a life raft that I desperately hung onto. Each 10 lbs. lost meant less food I could eat and I swear on some level I was fearful of how little I could eat when I reached my goal.

So where does that leave me? I want balance. I want weight loss. I want sanity. I want self-love. I want activity.

I've lost 60 lbs in the past two years and I'm still many miles away from where I want to be weight wise. How will I get there? There are principles of diet programs that I have learned a lot from, the day off diet has taught me that I don't need as much sugar as I seem to want, and the absence of it makes me want it less. Weight watchers taught me about moderation and goal setting. Can I unite my dieting self and not dieting self.

Dieting-self thinks about every meal, every calorie, every pound. She studies the scale: is it water weight?, why am i not losing?, ooh, lost 5 lbs! lets eat! It goes like that. She worries about losing control, she worries about food, she worries about it all constantly and feels guilty, she worries that it won't work. Not-dieting-self is more carefree, she enjoys her meals, loves finding new recipes to cook, she enjoys all foods: nutritional and not so much. She sometimes loses control, she sometimes bakes too much, but most of the time she isn't thinking about food at all. She eats when she is hungry and less when she feels bored.

I'm thinking about eating the foods I enjoy, but much less of them. Making efforts to eat the best possible foods. Planning ahead. Meal Planning. Enjoyment. Self-Love. Exercise. Losing weight.

Settling in

I can't believe I haven't written since August 18th! I also can't believe (at all) that I've been living in VA for two weeks as of today (what!) These two weeks have gone by so quickly I don't even know what day of the week it is sometimes. We're still unpacking and settling in, but everyday it gets a little more like home.

We joined a local gym yesterday and I'm so ready to get back into some sort of exercise habit. The gym here is considerably cheaper, but its about a 15 minute drive away from where we live. The one in Brooklyn was a 5 minute walk, but we paid $140 a month for the two of us and here we only pay $52 a month. Crazy!

Eating in August was a bit crazy I went on the see food diet (i see food and eat it) equal parts stress from moving and sadness about not eating at my favorite restaurants again. This defiantly showed on the scale I was around 259-257 and went up to 269 in about three weeks tie. Since I've been here I've been taking parts principles of The Day Off Diet and following my own guidelines which basically involves eating less. If I go to a wedding (which I did) I ate less in the day. And so thats how it goes.

I've been asked about the wedding recently and I'm not sure if I've mentioned this or updated on the date yet, but the date has been pushed to June 6th because of possible weather disasters in February.

I have a lot of things I want to change about the look of the blog, plus a ton of reviews I am so behind on. Today I have a lot of unpacking and cleaning to do, and possibly checking out the new gym!

Packin' up

Packing is in full swing around here! We only have two days left in Brooklyn until we're headed South. I'll be back within the next two weeks. Packing is exercise, right?
See you then!

PS: I am wayyy behind on emails. If you've sent me an email in the last month (or two) it's coming!

BMI Illustrated

I didn't find this particularly shocking, but really interesting. This is a group on flickr that basically shows you what people look like and what their BMI reading is.

Check it out: http://flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

I am Morbidly Obese

Pack My Bento

Bento boxes have got to be the cutest things I've ever seen! I've been so curious about creating my own bento box lunches for some time now, but haven't actually started. Back in March my mom got me a Mr. Bento for my birthday upon my request. I imagined myself packing little lunches for work the night before. But, then two weeks later I started working from home and Mr. Bento was left in his bag.

What is a bento box?

(Photo Lunchinabox.net)

From my own definition they are Japanese inspired food boxes with compartments and dividers for food. They are basically smaller versions of meals to fit in compact spaces. They range from very creative and quirky to very simple. I think when people see these they might automatically assume they are just for kids.

Me? I think they are perfect for anyone wanting to have a healthy and portion controlled meal. When I first discovered a few blogs written by moms packing lunches for their toddlers going off to preschool I couldn't help but see the advantage of these meals for those of us trying to eat better.

(Click Here for More info.)

I think at first the idea of packing a bento can seem daunting or difficult. Or maybe thats just me. But, I'm really determined to give this a try once I get settled into our new place in VA. This is great way to bring your lunch to work, but I could totally see this working at home too. The appeal to me, is that you can enjoy some of your favorite foods, just smaller. I think taking care to pack a nice meal for yourself would make the process of eating more enjoyable even if in smaller amounts.

The ideas are endless. I think the key to bento boxing is a little bit of planning and organization. I really like the idea of making things like mini pressed sandwiches, fruit, and a salad. Or you could make mini casserole-type foods in muffin tins and freeze them in advance. For me, when I had an office job I ended up eating all of my meals at work except for dinner. With a larger bento, you could pack breakfast in one layer, and lunch in another.

If you like muffins on occasion which we all know are very calorie dense (450+ calories each) you could make mini muffins over the weekend and pack one or two on occasion for the mornings. That would end up being about 50-100 calories each. You could use the rest of your space for things like yogurt and fruit. You could also make mini quiche, egg fritata's, or even turkey sausage. Mini pancakes with a small container of syrup with strawberries. The options are endless. I'll admit I'm really excited about bento boxing, but we'll see how it goes when I actually start doing it.

I can really see the diet benefits of a bento lunch.

If you want more ideas check out these useful websites:

Lunch in a box
Wendolonia
Ichiban Kan- cheap bento supplies
Flickr search: bento box

Do any of you bento?

On the move

I'm back now, at least somewhat. I won't go into detail about the past week, but to be vague it was surreal. Its weird how unexpected events have a tendency to jolt us back into reality and our lives. Its hard to see it this way at the time, but looking at the other side of the coin: a difficult experience often brings something you really needed into your life. In this case, a new perspective and appreciation.

A week from Wednesday I will be leaving Brooklyn for a very small and rural country town in Southwestern Virginia. I don't know what my posting status will be like until I get there, or in the next few days while we pack up. I will say I'm really looking forward to moving and looking forward to fall. September, like January to me is always symbolic of new happenings.

I feel ready to leave nyc, which in the past two years has been really good for me. Life here, is unlike anything else I've ever experiences. In new york, I learned to be a little more braver and learned to just deal with things totally out of my control. Living here is not comfortable or easy, but it has been really rewarding. I feel like when I moved here after leaving college, I desperately needed to experience everything I did here.

This trip in new york, hasn't been perfect or without mistakes. I didn't put myself out there as much as I would have liked, or have much to show for the decent salary I was making except for the opportunity to have a nice life here. I'm really glad that I was introduced to new foods, and new ways of eating. I also got used to walking a lot and walking everywhere. I'll miss that too.

In Virginia, I look forward to being more creative- something that never really happened here. I really thought I would create more, but I rarely did. Lately, I feel more of a drive to be apart of something and get outside of my head. I find myself wanting to go out and try new things, which in Virginia seems much more manageable.

I've been thinking a lot about dieting and exercise lately. And wanting to find more joy in my health pursuits. There is a really great article in this months Bon Appetit, written by a food writer. How she eats out every night and still stays thin. It was so refreshing to hear her write about how she is not naturally thin and how she really does want to eat everything in front of her. She talked about eating only things she really liked. I find this so true, often times in my life I have spent a lot of calories on food I didn't even like. I've scarfed down many of a cookie, fries, nachos, whatever because they were "bad" or "there" but I didn't really like them or even want them. The writer also talks about enjoying food, and eating what she likes to eat, but being more disciplined about the amount that she eats.

I also read a quick interview with Margaret Cho, who has publicily struggled with her weight and body image. The interview was in this months Marie Claire. She talks about her love for belly dancing and how much it has given to her body and self-esteem. When asked about her weight loss because of dancing she responded:

"It's Weird. Discovering burlesque led me to take up belly dancing, and a lot of weight came off. It's a pleasurable movement that has positively increased my body awareness. It's so unlike going to the gym and hating it."

I really liked that. I'm feeling a sway in my life to find more joy in my pursuits for better health. Weight loss can be so negative sometimes, and keeping a blog can really keep you "in your head" about the whole thing too. The thing about blogging is, you are always aware that someone else is reading. I have other blogs, but this one makes me more vulnerable. I get so many lovely emails and comments every day from people trying to lose weight too and sometimes I just think we want to know that we aren't alone in wanting to lose weight and wanting to feel normal and accepted.

With joy in mind, I guess I feel a pull in my heart to get out there and get physical in ways that I love. I was looking at the Floyd (where I'm moving) calendar of events and I noticed that there is a 5k at the end of this month. There is no way I could run a 5k at my current weight and fitness level, but wouldn't it be a crazy notion to try and run one next year?

I guess what I'm feeling is, is that I want to take care of myself and celebrate my life and body more. Take care of my appearance, and just feel good about my body now at this size and find physical activities that really excite me. And in that pursuit becoming healthier and slimmer. Trying a new sport, training for a 5k, dancing, hiking, rowing, are things that deep down I know I want to be apart of, but never tried because of my weight. And now this pull is no longer ignorable.

Wow, not kidding, this post was originally about blackened chicken salad. I had a picture and everything.

Will return shortly

Dealing with some things at the moment, will return soon. Thanks for stopping by!