I've been going to Weight Watchers since April and I'm losing weight, albeit slowly at times. I feel good about my choices. I'm making small, yet livable sacrifices to lose weight and now I just want to show this blog a new weight. It's coming! I'm hoping by the end of summer.
I've also been taking thyroid hormone replacements consistently for a month and a half and while I'm not sure if these aid weight loss I am noticing that my weight is not piling on as fast as it used to. My whole life, while I do have binge eating disorder, it has always seemed that my body puts on weight and holds onto it more eagerly. Just looking at food would make me gain weight. And now, it's easier not to gain. Who knows what it is, but I welcome it.
And this blog. Lord, I have a back log of photos to share, mostly food. There are days when I eat very lightly all day and then eat a large dinner and there are days when I eat dark chocolate for breakfast and days when I eat a half of a large pizza (like last night) and I want to share, but...
I've struggled with this blog. Let's be honest, I've struggled with blogging for well over a year now. I even toyed with the idea of not blogging here anymore. And at the sake of seeming full of myself/ungrateful/crazy the attention that this blog generates makes me want to hide under a rock. I didn't know this about myself, well I did, but I like to pretend I'm not as sensitive as I am. Words sting me, and they sting deep. Back when I first starting blogging, I just did it, I represented who I was becoming and I wanted to share my journey. Very few people were reading. No one expected me to be something else.
And then the readers came, more than I ever thought would stop by. And then the companies came too. My inbox filled to the gills- the product reviews, the advice, the appreciation emails and it became too much for me. This blog is not the most popular blog on the internet- that title is usually given to blogs that actually update and have a sense of humor. But, that attention and sometimes negative comments has made me want to hide away and without knowing, that is exactly what I've done.
If I don't blog, no one can comment or criticize what I eat, or how I live my life. Eventually the emails will slow down, and I the back-log of product reviews will fade away into my distant past. The truth is, is that I want to share. The good, the bad, and the ugly, but I need to develop a tougher skin in this process. I'm still learning just like everyone else and for some reason my web address "my all natural weight loss" lends to make folks think I'm some sort of nutrition expert. I have no idea what I'm doing on most subjects, most of the time. I just do. I'm okay with mistakes and learning from them and moving forward.
I've addressed my sensitivity to others and they said "just turn off the comments" but there are those who are here too, in the journey, learning and sharing and discussing in this wonderful community who I am thankful for. Those who don't send me emails saying "it is not responsible to eat vegan cookies and pretend that they are healthy" what? Are you kidding me? How did I become the surgeon general of healthful living?
What I really think is this: I think most women have eating disorders. I think most women fear food. I don't think all skinny people are healthy (a lot of them eat crap and rarely exercise). I think that the desire to overeat is a strong beast that is hard to overcome. I believe that food should not be feared, that health can be obtained with beautiful freshly made, sustainable foods even if they have full-fat cheese, butter or olive oil in them. I think that too many women think that low calorie= healthy and eat shitty tasteless food as a result. Embrace olive oil. If I avoid sugar and flour in excess, olive oil does not make me gain weight. Even if I put it on everything. I believe that counting calories is degrading. I believe that no one should eat less than 1,500 calories a day. I believe exercise is the key to happiness.
This is my blog and I'm taking it back. I do not owe anyone a reason for not updating, I do not owe anyone daily calories or my current weight (which changes as often as I change my underwear), I do not owe anyone common sense on eating cookies or sweets, I do not owe companies product reviews if their products sucked or timely reviews if it did not. This blog does not pay may bills on a regular basis, but the ads sure have helped and I am very grateful for those folks.
Thank you for reading, commenting, emailing and being lovely and supportive. This blog has given me a lot over time and I'm not giving up on it.
i am on ww too and have lost 50 pounds in 7 months. what i struggle with is that i was so into fat acceptance, and still want to be, but i feel like i am disqualified from that because i am losing weight. i feel like i have to choose one or the other, and i feel like a traitor to fat acceptance folks. on the other hand i feel so very good about the possibllity of getting my mobility back. i can’t hardly walk or stand. i am getting more energy, little by little. there are so many things i cannot do. why would i want to just sit in a wheelchair all my life? so that’s my conundrum. how do you feel about that?
deb jacobs
http://fiveorsixgirls.blogspot.com/
omg an online weight watchers buddy!!! just started to read your blog and im already hooked. the weight loss has been slow, but its going, which is all that matters i guess
I’ve been following your blog for a bit (first time comment!) and I like how honest and genuine you are.
A couple thoughts came to mind — first, saying mean things anonymously is very easy. Words can definitely hurt and I think we can tend to focus on them and ignore all the positive things we hear and experience every day.
Second, weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. I used to be 240 lbs. 5 years ago and now I’m around 165-175. I would love to lose 20-30 lbs. but it is HARD. It’s like you’re hungry all week, ignore yummy treats, and bust your butt at the gym 6 days to lose maybe 1/2 lb. I guess it’s better than gaining. However, the lifestyle change gets way easier and the stuff I ate 5 years ago is very unappealing to me now. I started going to a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders to try to overcome my emotional eating (which isn’t dramatic 10K calorie binges but 300-600 cal. binges that keep me locked at the same weight). It’s helping but not as fast as I would like it
Lastly – I just read some diet book that I can’t remember the title — basically avoid fat and sugar for a bunch of reasons — the book made a great point: people can quit drinking, drugs, cigarettes, etc. because we do not need it to live. We need food to live which makes it hard to “give up”.
Keep up the hard work — enjoy the journey!
I just stumbled on your blog for the first time today……tonight ……….. a few minutes ago.
I am Anjie of several blogs, facebook, twitter and even an actual old fashioned website and newsletter, I have morphed and remorphed, vacationed, closed down forums and revamped what I do many times over the years and still haven’t caught up with todays successful and trendy bloggers……. I had to say…..WAIT A MINUTE, WHY did you start the original newsletter to begin with and do I want that goal to change?
I admire your moxie…….I just want to give you feedback in you need to follow your heart and not the dollar, although tempting….so are alot of other things including big fat glazed donuts…..ya know?
I am trying to lose weight I gained for a variety of reasons, but I am not going to sit here and say they are excuses
I also believe ………..in many of the things you do.
You only live once, just live it as healthy as possible and sometimes “healthy” may take differing forms, my personal happiness includes eating good food and having a good time. I set high hopes from “memories” of my “other” body I had and took for granted once upon a time.
I am what I am said I would never be……almost the weight I was when I was pregnant , soft in places, and double digit sized.
I admire anyone who fights the demons of losing weight and I esp. admire those brave enough to share the struggles they encounter to help others and promoting what works, not what pays the best.
<<<<>>>>>>>>
Anjie
Just came across your blog and have enjoyed reading! Lots to peruse and consider but I like what you had to say in this particular post. I’m on yet another weight loss journey myself and just began my blog~ any tips or suggestions would be helpful and appreciated! Thanks!
I was at work when I first started reading and came back tonight to check out some more and came across this post. I struggle everyday with my weight and I am on an eternal weightloss journey. Somedays are easy and then others no so much. You’ve inspired me and I’ve seen some really good ideas. Thank you and please continue to share.
Good for you! This is your journey, and it belongs to you, and only you! This is my first time on your site, and I am really impressed and amazed by you! Best of luck!
Hello, I stumbled across this website looking for a weight lost support blog. From what I’ve seen so far I am really impressed and I encourage you to keep blogging. Unfortunately there are a lot of hurt, angry and scared people that we live among. You go girl, happy blogging.
I just stumbled on your website this morning and I just had to leave a comment. I am a 41 year old mom of 5 who has struggled with my weight my whole life. Just wanted to say you are awesome! Thanks for being honest and blogging about your life. Women need to see women like you who are vibrant and beautiful and full of life! We should all work toward living a healthier lifestyle…but enjoy life along the way! Thanks for showing women that their life doesn’t begin when they are finally thin….life is now, and it is great! You’re great!
You are awesome!
First of all, I applaud you for creating this beautiful website. I just found it today, but I’m so thankful you didn’t shut it off or stop blogging. There will always be negative people on the internet, and I can relate to the feelings you’re sharing about wanting to stop blogging because of the attention–good and bad. I started a website 5 months ago, and have only had a small amount of what you shared, but the hate and disrespect that comes with owning a website and being candid is unreal.
A small thing that helped me was to create a comment policy, post it, and to “unapprove” comments that are rude or hateful. I modeled mine after the Huffington Post comment policy, because their emphasizes that their writers shouldn’t be attacked and should be respected. Also, no attacks of any kind are permitted.
I also wanted to turn off comments, because it hurts to even read some of them (whether I approve them or not). But, after creating the comment policy and enforcing it, I realized that I felt a lot more positive about receiving people’s feedback. I’m empowered to choose what I allow and don’t.
I wish you luck in your weight loss and running. And, I’ll be reading along the way.