Dear Body, Who Are You?

I was only gone for about a day over the weekend and somehow it seemed like much longer, in a good way. I hope you all are having a lovely long weekend, is today a non-working holiday? Valentine's day was so sweet for us, we drove to Roanoke to stay the night and on the way there Josh stopped at my favorite antique shop at Dixie Caverns. You wouldn't think it would be awesome from the looks of it, but they have the best stuff (if you've got patience) at ridiculously low prices. We are always saying "omg! this would be like $20 more on ebay!"

And then we got to the hotel and swam in the indoor pool and whirlpool, ate at Nawab and then finished the evening with Coraline 3D. Then yesterday we had a birthday brunch at Hotel Roanoke, went to the art museum, and then stopped to on the way home to get Big Brain for the Wii and connect four. Weekend= success. I only wish I would have taken pictures.

This week I've been lazy about posting my food and calories, however, I've been extremely mindful of my eating. I've talked about this before and always get scared, but I really like when I'm in the intuitive eating mindset. I don't think about food, and I rarely have strong cravings. The only reason I can think of is because I'm eating what I want, just not in excess. I realize that there are foods that I will eat in excess if I have them around, so I don't have them around. When I eat out I'm asking myself "do I really want this?" and if the answer is no I stop. The weird thing, for me, is that every morning I get on the scale, its a little lower or the same, not higher. Its weird because I trust myself not to eat to much and I don't and the scale is not going up as a result, but I don't feel like I'm dieting.

I read on one of my new blog reads Fistnessista, she said something like "if you can lose weight without counting calories then do it" and I really want to. Why? Because I don't stick with it. I would love to say that I am good at tracking every little bite and every single calorie, but long term it isn't realistic for me. I know that weight is my thing and I have to work towards it, but I want to work towards listening to my body and not give up on that out of fear.

Saturday we went to a memorial service and I ate food, but I didn't over think the cake that I wasn't eating because I was allowed to have it, but didn't want it. I know that if I was counting calories that day two things would have happened: I would have obsessed over the cake and then found ways to eat anything else but the cake to satisfy my crazy cake loving brain. Or I would have given in to the cake regardless if I really wanted it or liked it or not because it was there and I wouldn't have enjoyed it. But, instead I just didn't want it and I didn't care.

At dinner that night I did, want dessert because I'm programed to want dessert on Valentine's day. But, again I ate what I wanted (and swam earlier in the day) I just didn't keep pushing myself. I actually said out loud "if I eat another bite, I will be officially stuffing myself" and I didn't want to be uncomfortable. Sunday morning I was hungry so I had a small croissant, and some grapes. Brunch at the hotel, I ate exactly what appealed to me and nothing was overly unhealthy. I saw spoon bread and instantly knew it was high in fat and calories so I took a very small taste. I hate dessert, but it was actually too sweet so I enjoyed it with water and ate about half of my slice of cake. I ate a sandwich when I got home that evening.

I know that is a lot to write about food for someone not trying to think about food, but I feel like I notice small behavior changes that I need to keep working on. I haven't been eating as much as I think I want because I really don't want to. I keep saying "food is my thing, I have to work at this". As much as I know food is my thing there are so many cool things in life that are way better. Like, antique stores, whirl pools and being with someone you love.

Two ladies I'm inspired by this week: Giyen and Krissie. Giyen has inspired me to create a weekly body post with a picture and stats, and Krissie has inspired me to keep going.