Challenge Day: 12, 13, 14

Where to start? For those looking for Jillian's podcasts, I sypmathize with you. I had a hard time locating the podcasts until I googled "jillian michael's podcast" and found a website with instructions for finding them. They are there, you just have to know where to look. Click here for instructions.

Things are going o-k this week, I can't believe another week has flown by, but that's the nature of things. I haven't exercised since Monday and have used rain as an excuse. I over plan my exercise and feel like I can't do it unless I've planned it. Its a really silly excuse. I know. Rain is the other one.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster all week. I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed with the wedding stuff, something I've been doing pretty good at not being overwhelmed by. I'm very bad at time management so when I have a lot to do I have a hard time figuring out where to start and then waste time not starting.

I am my own worst enemy, but you already knew that.

I've been really sensitive this week too. I don't know what it is, but I really hate feeling misunderstood, judged and as though people assume where I am coming from. There are very few people who I feel truly understand me and sometimes I feel like I have to defend myself or the things I do. Defending is really tiring. I know I am talking in riddles, but sometimes I'd just like to be me without apology, defense or explanation. I don't like to be picked apart or analyzed. I don't like to be told that I do xyz because of xyz.

Food. So I've mentioned before that I know what a day feels like that will result in weight loss. I rarely count calories, except out of default, but I've memorized portions and food and know what will and won't result in weight loss. I know how my stomach feels at the end of the day when I will or won't lose weight.

Right now, if I don't eat anything else today I will see a loss or maintain and if I feel this way again tomorrow I will defiantly see a loss. Its not that I'm eating particularly healthful foods or planned out portions, I just know. Does anyone else know this? Knowing what the day feels like physically that results in weight loss?

Today's food: protein shake w/ skim milk, banana, 1/2 thin crust grilled chicken pizza, two high fiber bars. About 1,300 calories (220 shake, 100 banana, 550 pizza, 280 bars) I know all of this by memorization. Is that sad? A day like this is when I only eat when I'm hungry and actually get to the point of hunger. I am don't think too much about food.

If I would have exercised, I would probably allow myself to eat 400-500 more calories.

For me, not thinking about food is more and more where I want to be. When I talk to people about "what I'm doing" which for me feels like nothing really. They advise the usual weight loss advice: eat your protein, fruits and vegetables. magazine tip, oprah tip, diet book tip after tip after tip. I eat those things, and try to go out of my way to eat them some of the time, but I feel like eating that way with all of the measuring, weighing, portioning out, scaling back, tip remembering and planning is so maddening and unrealistic for me.

To lose weight I know that days consistently look like this:

Exercise, the sweaty/huffy kind

Food: big breakfast (eggs, toast, fruit etc.) lunch when hungry (usually around two) of a sandwich or salad, and then dinner of protein and a serving of rice and vegetables or something like that

Over the weekend I knew I was going to eat a decent dinner when my mom came to visit. So I ate a light breakfast of whole wheat toast with almond honey butter. I didn't eat again until 4 which isn't ideal. Idealy I would have eaten a light snack. Then for dinner I had two of my homemade naan with pulled pork, tomatoes, lettuce, and homemade tzatziki sauce. I was satisfied and full, not stuffed. I didn't count calories or portions. This is not an ideal weight loss picturesque day, but it is reality for me.

Tomorrow I am driving to WV to see my best friend of 20 years graduate from college and then do mother's day stuff. I know Saturday we are going to outback and sunday we are going to an italian restaurant. I have weigh in and I want to see a loss what is my plan?

First, tomorrow I will plan and make myself exercise in the morning before I shower and get ready. I will eat a light, yet filling breakfast. I will eat a snack when I get hungry of fruit or nuts. And then enjoy dinner with my parents: naan, chicken, tzatziki etc. I won't over stuff myself or deprive myself.

Saturday will be hard for exercise. We have to be at the graduation place at 8:30 am, meaning we have to leave at 7:30 am. And we will be there until noon, followed with lunch at outback, back to my parents house and then dinner with girlfriends at 6pm. I could exercise when I get home for an hour and then get ready to go out. I will eat a filling breakfast, a light lunch and a satisfying dinner.

Sunday, will exercise at my parents house (bring exercise DVDs!) in the morning. Eat a light breakfast and then eat lunch with my family at 3pm enjoying, yet not stuffing.

Monday, drive home and blog! See you then!

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers for everything you are and do!