I didn't get hungry until about 12:30 not because of a certain encounter with mini muffins yesterday or anything. No sir. For Lunch I was in the mood for bolognese and a salad. I made tomato sauce from scratch yesterday.  I've gotten it down to a fine art. The tomato sauce is good, you can taste every hour it spent on the stove.

I added local beef to the sauce and used thin whole wheat pasta. My salad is local/organic spinach and tomatoes with vinaigrette and slivered almonds.

I've only had two mini muffins today, so that is an accomplishment. I should note that they are tiny, about a fourth of a regular muffin, not that I'm justifying it or anything.

I'll admit that I'm having some appetite control issues today. I'm NOT hungry and will not eat again until I am, but I want to. I'm having a super productive work day which either does one of two things, I forget to eat or I want to eat.

My plan of action is to finish a few more tasks, take a break, read, exercise, eat dinner.

How are you handling your workload today?

What does the title mean? It means that I finally decided to do Couch to 5k . I tweeted and Krissie delivered. Her post about how to get started was very informative and helpful.

I needed a fitness goal, so when she mentioned that she would be running the half-marathon in November in Huntington (my old college town) I thought to myself "I should do the 5k". That was two months ago. What have I been waiting for?

The 5k isn't my main incentive for starting this, it's motivation to start doing something...anything. I need a goal to work towards because "I should exercise because I need to lose weight, get healthy and feel good" apparently is not enough to pry me away from my to-do list and just do it. Having a schedule in my mind, is a no excuse zone. When Josh is involved there is even less excuse.

Yesterday afternoon I headed out on a mission: get a better sports bra, a stop watch and (totally unrelated) sunburst mirror for my studio.

Day One: 20 minutes. 5 minute brisk walk followed with 60 seconds jogging and 90 minutes walking, alternating the two.

It was 7pm. I put on my new bra (a tight xl mind you), exercise pants, baggy t-shirt, old sneakers and we were off. The walk started out up the hill on our road, I was panting. This is hard, I can do it, this is hard, I can do it. I am fat. This is hard, my legs are weak. I'm breathing heavy. I'm sweating. 5 minutes is up. Jogging begins. Downhill. I'm flying. My legs are moving at a pace I'm not familiar with. They feel okay, my breathing catches up. I'm still going. Somehow I'm jogging. I'm okay.

Round three of 60 second jogging and I'm moving in a fast shuffle, flailing my arms around saying to josh or me or the universe "I'm still going! I'm moving!". He yells from ahead "20 seconds left" "okay, I'm doing it, I'm moving" and then walking. Relief. It repeats and before I know it we are finished and headed home. 24 minutes total. Walking fast and jogging.

It was not pretty, it wasn't fast, but I pushed myself. I thought of Krissie, I thought of my future, I thought of myself doing this. I just needed to start somewhere, no perfect situations, no right times, not the right anything. Just put on your shoes and go outside. I need to believe that I can do this, and I do. Day two is Wednesday.

******

Eating.

Six weeks ago I started reading Women, Food and God with Josh and we're still only halfway through. The content is heavy and if you're open and ready, it will change you. Not overnight, and not without constant reminder. Roth speaks a lot about what we use food for: comfort, happiness, contentment, nostalgia, fear, sadness, joy, everything that we believe about our selves and our lives can be found on our plates.

It's a lot. And it couldn't have come at a better time. I will never diet again. Ever. Hear me blog? I am no longer a dieter. How scary and relieving is that statement? Scary because- does it mean I've resigned myself to being fat? No. Relieving because I have been using diets as a crutch. My diet tells me what to eat, what I should eat, what I shouldn't eat, when I should stop eating, when I should start. When my diet doesn't allow me to eat chocolate cake I can eat 2 slices today and always go back to diet tomorrow. Dieting gave me hope and direction. It was something I could trust when I couldn't trust myself. I punish myself with dieting as much as I punish myself with food. Balance was lost.

When I diet, it is either all or nothing. I have restarted more times than I can remember. I binge and say "tomorrow I will be better", "tomorrow I will diet", "tomorrow I will starve", "tomorrow I will only have protein shakes", "tomorrow I will only eat 1,200 calories". Tomorrow came, and sure I may lose ten pounds here, or 20 pounds there, but I set myself up to fail because I was looking to food to solve every problem I have. Fat being one of them.

I will lose x pounds by x date. Every year, like clockwork I need to lose weight by a certain time. I never do. I never will.

So what happens when you need to lose weight, but you stop dieting? You learn to listen to yourself, and it isn't always pretty. Sitting with the desire to overeat is painful and uncomfortable when you've depended on it for so long. If you're looking for food to do anything outside of nourishment, you will fail, every time.

One sentence that I repeat to myself every single day "if you eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full, you will naturally lose weight" every day. In and out. Many days I follow this, and occasionally my old habits sneak right back up on me.

So what is HUNGRY? When am I full!? I fear hunger and I think a lot of us with weight issues do. We fear the next meal, we order familiar meals at the same restaurants knowing it will a huge amount of food, we fear missing a meal or an opportunity to gorge (because we have to diet again tomorrow, right?), but food is not going anywhere. If it does, we will be okay. It is okay to get hungry. I tell this to myself every day. I will not die if I miss a meal. I can get by on less.

What is full? I always thought that full was a feeling of pain, but then I realized that it is the absence of hunger. The absence of hunger.

I'm not micro-analyzing every meal anymore. Am I getting enough fiber, vegetables, protein, fruit, folic acid? I trust that I will lead myself to spinach when my body needs it, or a banana or cheese or tomatoes or whatever else.

So how do I stop eating when I'm full but the food is delicious? I still haven't mastered this. Over the weekend while painting I got hungry and asked Josh to go to subway for sandwiches. I had a foot long and without realizing it I ate the whole thing. It wasn't the end of the world and made note that next time I will put the second half in the refrigerator as soon as I get home. Sometimes it just hard to stop and we have to know that about ourselves.

Instead of saying to myself "oh no! I ate the whole sandwich, no dinner for me!" I let it go. I said to myself "eat again when you're truly hungry and stop when you're full".

We had mexican food on saturday. I sat down and ate about seven chips with salsa, I wasn't counting or restricting, just being slow and mindful. My giant burrito came and I opened it up and ate about half of the content (carnitas, salsa, cheese, avocado, lettuce etc.) and then I felt myself go into over drive. I starting breathing and counting. I stopped to think, to readjust. No judgment. I just needed to check in. I was full. I covered my plate with my napkin and I was okay with the decision to stop eating.

I'm okay with not racing to weight loss anymore. I know the finish line is there and I'm okay with knowing it will take a year or two instead of months.

Follow me on twitter: @thetokenfatgirl

You can download and print your own menu here: Printable Weekly Menu

What's on your menu this week?

Follow me on twitter: @thetokenfatgirl

TFG: Hi Krissie! Thanks for taking the time to answer a few questions about your journey to lose weight and become a runner. You've kept a blog for well over three years now at http://www.questionsfordessert.com what brought you into the blogging world and how has it helped you to achieve your goals?

Krissie: I'm not really sure why I decided to start blogging. I remember reading a few blogs and thinking that I had finally found people like me - people who would understand me. It's funny for me to go back and read my first post and see how long I spun my wheels before I really made the commitment to those goals. I don't know that I would have made significant progress without my blog. I don't have a system in real life that indulges me to let me talk incessantly about myself. That's not who I am in the real world. My blog is just like a journal with accountability and feedback and suggestions. It really has been the key to keep me going.

TFG: Can you talk a little about how and why you became a runner and how this new identity has helped you with other health related goals?

Krissie: You know, I've wanted to be a runner ever since I was in college. I dated a guy who was a runner and he always wanted me to run with him. I was not interested. Then, when we broke up, I started running to spite him (healthy, huh?). When I started dating my husband, I didn't need running to fill that void anymore, so I stopped running. At the time, I was running maybe 2 miles at a time a few times a week. But it wasn't for me. For the past few years, I wanted to run for me.

I can't preach running enough. It, like blogging, has been absolutely necessary to my success. The desire to be a runner and actually becoming a runner has pushed me every day. I set a goal, I create a schedule, and I have to follow it. If I miss a few days and it messes up the schedule, I don't know how I'll do in the race. So if the schedule says I need to run today, I run today. It's that easy. It takes the guess work and the emotion out of the plan. I follow the schedule. No argument.

TFG: Speaking of identities, how has the "I'm a runner" identity helped you to stay focused on your goals? Before you started running on a regular basis, how did you mentally see a runners life as being?

Krissie: This "I'm a runner" identity has been huge for me. I know my readers tire of hearing that statement (I've got the comments and emails to prove it), but it think it is probably what I see as my biggest achievement, other than my marriage. Being a runner changes the way I make my food choices. Being a runner changes the way I look at sleep and alcohol and even laundry. Being a runner keeps me focused on the big picture because the big picture has such an affect on my running.

I really didn't ever think that a runner's life would be this involved. I honestly thought I'd just lace up my shoes and run. I thought that's what runners did. I love that I'm learning it's so much more than that.

TFG:What advice would you give to those who are struggling with a fitness identity and how has this mold helped your process?

Krissie: Wow. I'm still shocked when I realize that I have a fitness identity. How cool is that? I don't know exactly why I was bit by the running bug, but it has been a large part of my motivation long before I was able to run. I've been driven by running for such a long time. I always felt like I'd know I'd made it when I was able to run a 5K. Now I'm not sure I'll ever feel like I've made it. There'll always be longer or faster or harder to run. And I love that.

TFG: You've blogged in the past about your struggles with weight loss and following diet plans particularly in times when your career was moving in different directions. What do you think prevented you from being successful before compared to your recent success over the past year? What has helped you control emotional, stress or boredom eating?

Krissie: My success with eating has been simplistic in nature but difficult in implementation. I just learned to take the emotion out of eating. I used to feel a sense of entitlement, like I deserved to be able to eat whatever I wanted, like I was being cheated by the universe because I couldn't live on potato chips and ice cream and still look like a hottie. In the past, I definitely used food as a crutch and a comfort. And I just had to stop doing that. My dad was following Weight Watchers for a while and he said he wasn't going to eat something because it was "too expensive" and "cost too many points." And that's the way I started looking at calories - like my checkbook. Am I willing to work to earn the extra calories for that handful of goldfish or that cookie? Sometimes I am. But when I'm not willing to earn it, I don't eat it. It makes each bite a choice that I have control over. Not about desire or deprivation, but instead it's about math.

TFG: Do your friends and family read your blog? What advice would you give to those who want to share their weight loss efforts through a blog?

Krissie: I try to live in the dark with this one. I like to assume that few people that I knew before blogging read my blog. I know my husband reads. I think my brother and a few male friends read. Other than that, I don't know if my family reads and I don't think I want to know. My parents know I blog, but I don't know if they've found it. It wouldn't be hard to find if they went looking. The only advice I can give is to blog like no one is reading. Be you. 100%. You'll get support, encouragement, and the catharsis that comes from getting it all out there. You can always be an anonymous blogger and have no names or pictures anywhere. Just get out there. Start commenting on the blogs you love. Put yourself in the community you want to be in. Say hello and we'll check you out. We're fun people.

TFG: In 10 words or less how is the 2010 Krissie different than the 2008 Krissie? What has been your biggest "a'ha" moment in this process?

Krissie: 2007 Krissie doubted herself. 2010 Krissie knows anything is possible.

Probably my biggest aha moment was the day I walked into Express and could actually wear things in the store. That moment really represents to me the things I didn't think I'd ever be able to do. Now I'm doing things that I never even entertained before.

TFG: You've lost about 55 lbs. What about your new body surprises you? Do people treat you differently at this weight?

Krissie: The weirdest thing about my new body is that it doesn't feel new to me at all. I've lost the weight very gradually. What I am able to do physically has been very gradual. I know I would feel differently if it was a quick, Biggest Loser-type process. I have to remind myself often that I am different. It still seems unreal to me sometimes.

I really haven't noticed people treating me differently. I think it's because I've always been bubbly and approachable and a people-person. But I am often shocked at people's reactions to learning that I'm a runner. Many don't understand the appeal or ask if it's safe or a good idea. I really never thought I'd be an ambassador for running.

TFG: Has losing weight changed the dynamics of your relationships with your husband, friends or family? Do you believe that exercising and having fitness goals with your husband strengthens your bond?

Krissie: I don't think losing weight has really changed my relationships. If anything, I feel like it's given me an avenue to talk about the changes I'm making and why they are health focused, not about getting thin. If I hadn't lost a lot of weight, I don't think people would ask me questions and I would be much less likely to start discussions with what I think is important and why. I love that I'm able to discuss clean eating and running with family members who wouldn't be interested if I didn't look different. It's easier for me to preach my non-scripted "diet" plan when others initiate the conversation.

Nathan has always been incredibly supportive of whatever food or exercise plan I've chosen to follow. But as we made a lifestyle change in gradual steps, he's started to really enjoy and be interested in what we're doing. We grocery shop together, we cook together, he helps me choose recipes to try. We rarely run together, but we are following the same schedule. We'll leave the house at the same time and run at the same time. So even when one of us is having trouble getting going, the other one encourages. We are in this together, even if we're not running beside each other.

TFG: As someone who has lost and gained the same weight over the past few years, I've often wondered if I will ever lose weight. Do you have any advice for those of us who are still struggling to lose weight? Did you worry about others taking you seriously?

Krissie: I don't even know how many times I have put those empty promises out there. The "starting tomorrow, I'm posting pictures of everything I eat again." or "I'm doing Jillian's Shred for 30 days in a row starting Monday!" We all hope. We all have good intentions. And that's real life. Sometimes we follow our plans, sometimes our plans don't get of the ground. That's what makes us real. And in my mind? As long as you're out there- setting goals, trying to change, wanting to be better- you're not giving in. You're not throwing in the towel. You're still trying. And as long as you're trying, you haven't given up. Struggle makes good story. Struggle makes the story real. And it doesn't matter if others take you seriously. You'll find something that works for you. One day, something will click. It's trial and error, struggle leads to epiphany. You'll get there. Try your hardest every day. When you fall, brush yourself off and get back up immediately. Don't wait until Monday, until the first of the month, until after the next holiday, until after your next meal. Make changes now.

TFG: How do your friends and family respond to your new habits? Have you lost or gained any new friends in this process?

Krissie: We get some strange looks, especially during our no-meat and no-spending Lent. And now with our plans to run the marathon in November. But I always have Nathan in my corner to make me feel less freakish. I always have him to back me up when we provide input on where to eat out with friends. When we get an invitation to do something on a weeknight, it's easier to make a good choice because we both have runs planned. It's much easier when people roll their eyes at "us" instead of just "me." But for the most part, I have had very little static. Most people are interested and have questions. I don't think my social circle has really changed at all. Just the activities we do with them.

TFG: In 5 words, can you tell us what are the most important factors in achieving a goal?

Krissie: This question was my favorite. I think the most important piece of achieving a goal is setting a goal. And I think a goal should be behavioral, realistic, measurable, flexible, and meaningful.

TFG: You talk a lot about structure, planning and schedules on your blog, can you talk a little about your daily habits? How do you deal with days when your normal routine is out of balance? How does having a plan help or hurt your success?

Krissie: Structure makes me so happy! My day is pretty easy:

I get up around 5:45. Get ready for work. Mix up my daily Via (instant Starbucks coffee in milk over ice), grab my breakfast (usually a Clif bar or a peanut butter sandwich) and head out to work. Work until lunch. Eat leftovers while reading blogs and twitter, sometimes blogging from my phone. Finish work. Drive home, usually eat a snack on the way. Run. Cook. Eat. Shower. Clean kitchen. Pack breakfast and lunch (leftovers). Blog and watch tv. Try to be in bed by 10.

I think flexibility is very important. I really try just to do the best I can every single day. If things get crazy and we have dinner out and catch a show, I'm okay with that. I don't feel like a failure as long as I know I made the best possible choice at the restaurant and that I have a plan to make up the run on a scheduled rest day. I'm okay with those days. I don't let them happen more than once a week. The same goes with running. This weekend, we got a ton of rain. I didn't get to do Saturday or Sunday's run. It was out of my control. I don't beat myself up over that. I'll work those miles in this week. It all evens out. I don't get crazy over things like that anymore. It's life, you know? In the past, I might have just quit running if I didn't follow my plan to the letter for a few days. But I really try to see the big picture, not just today.

Planning is really the most important piece of my weight loss. If I don't have groceries and a meal plan, I tend to eat all over the place - things I don't need and usually don't even want. Planning is what keeps me running. Just so I can earn that little sticker on my running chart. I'm hoping to get to a place where I am organized enough to share some of that on my blog to. I think it would be so cool to see the specific plans - running schedule, meal schedules, recipes, grocery lists, calorie counts, etc - on the blog. Maybe someday.

Krissie's Race Schedule:
Started following Couch 2 5K program August 1, 2009.
Ran 1st 5K November 19, 2009
Ran 1st Half-Marathon March 28, 2010
Training for Marshall Marathon November 7, 2010

I can't tell you the last time I sat down at the dinner table, at home, to eat food. Unless I'm in a restaurant meals are consumed at my desk, in front of the TV, in the car or while doing something else other than just eating. This habit was quickly formed after I left home and entered the world of university or "living on my own" as it's called. Growing up, we ate at the dinner table almost exclusively. I have very few memories of meals consumed in front of the TV, in fact, I can only come up with a few and those were birthdays.

Even fast food or delivery pizza was a meal for the table, not the floor in front of the TV.  But then I went off to college. The familiar round dinner table disappeared and so did eating at it or any table unless it was in the dorm cafeteria. I loved that I could eat and watch TV, it felt indulgent and fun. I didn't have to think about what I was eating or how much. I could just eat and catch up on episodes of Felicity. And then I moved into an apartment where meals moved from a narrow dorm room bed to a couch, and another apartment in nyc where I watched all seasons of Seinfeld while chowing down on Chinese or Indian take-out, and finally to our current (albeit temporary) home where the couch is the new table.

Occasionally I'll feel nostalgic and clear off the dining room table (which I can confidently say is always housing stuff) and have a sit-down meal. Those are the exceptions,the special occasions; what sitting in front of the TV used to be. And at work, it is no different. I surf the internet, catch up with blogs, return emails, tweet what I'm eating while I'm eating it (yes, I'm that person) and never really give much thought to the food.

And so when I was asked to be on the Savor|Mindful Eating, Mindful Life book tour I knew immediately, just from the title and description that this book was for me. Written by Thich Nhat Hahn a Vietnamese Buddhist monk accompanied by Dr. Lilian Cheung a director of health promotion and communication at the Harvard School of Public Health's Department of Nutrition, Savor taps into the very heart of what is causing many of us to struggle with weight loss.

Savor is not a traditional weight loss book, most of which are filled with tips for curbing cravings, eating less carbs/fat/calories, and eating processed diet foods or food substitutes. Savor provides a look at well-being and weight control through Buddhist teachings: the Four Noble Truths.

The First Noble Truth: Being Overweight or Obese is Suffering

The Second Noble Truth:You Can Identify the Roots of Your Weight Problem

The Third Noble Truth: Reaching a healthy weight is possible

The Fourth Noble Truth: You can follow a mindful path to a healthy weight

Each truth contains valuable information and I especially like the third one: Reaching a health weight is possible. The book reads "To be successful, it is very important for you to believe that you can achieve a healthy weight. ...Self-efficacy is simply the belief that one can carry out a behavior necessary to produce a desired out come. What we believe can significantly affect what we can achieve." Nothing could be more true.

Changing your habit energy. I love those words; everything is energy. Habits are energy. There is a Zen story about a man and a horse. The horse is galloping quickly, and it appears that the rider is urgently heading somewhere important. A bystander along the road calls out, "Where are you going?" and the rider replies, "I don't know! Ask the horse!" In this story the horse represents "habit energy", the force that pulls us along that we often feel powerless to change. We are running continuously, without thought. Being unaware can give "habit energy" more power, but each time you become aware in that moment, it loses strength.

Savor encourages mindfulness not only while eating food, but the process of what it took to get the food to your plate. What did it take to get the chicken to your plate, or the cereal in your bowl? Being aware of the source of your food is an important step in mindful eating.

Savor for me, is an awakening. It provides the tools necessary for mindful eating and living, both of which I've learned to tune out. It is easy for me to see how mindlessness leads to excess weight, so often I reach for foods that I don't even like for reasons other than hunger. I eat, while entertaining myself and never experience the food that I'm eating. I love food, I love preparation of food, but in my everyday life it is easy to forget why I'm eating in the first place. Reading Savor even without actively trying to, will make you become aware, awake and mindful.

For more information about Savor visit: Savor The Book.  Or purchase on Amazon.

You can also read A Conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh About Savor.

Disclaimer: This book was sent to me for review.

I've been back for almost a week now from our trip to Las Vegas and I have so much I want to share! The trip was really nice and I was so excited to see the grand canyon from the plane. It was up there on my list of most amazing things I've seen. Las Vegas is over the top; you can find an abundance of food, alcohol, gambling andescorts (if that's your thing.) Now I know why they call it "sin city". The casinos were these mini-towns that lacked distinction in time, no daytime or night time. It's kind of like Wal-Mart in that way.

The rest of vegas (from what I could tell) was desert, strip malls and houses that look the same. Not a place I'd ever want to live, but would love to go back!

We did lots of walking in Vegas, Sunday in particular. We walked almost the entirety of the strip, down one side and back up the other. Which resulted in a two pound weight loss at my weigh-in on Wednesday. We did a good deal of eating, but I found that it was easier to pass food along that I didn't want and was totally satisfied eating hald or a fourth of what I normally eat.

Speaking of weigh-ins I feel that it is silly to do a proper weigh-in around here until I'm at a weight that this blog has never seen. That will be a very exciting day for me...the low 260's. Trust me, you'll be the first to know when that happens. In the mean-time I've been going to weight watchers for 2 weeks now (wednesday will be my third week) and I've lost almost 5 lbs.

Going to the meetings has really helped keep me on track. I'm working hard not to follow my typical weight watchers mentality of low calorie= healthy. It's not that case all the time, but especially with food that isn't "real food".

And speaking of real food, I really need to get back into cooking again. If someone ever asks me about the winter of 2010 it would be summed up like this: letting everything go. Seriously. I stopped cooking, I watched the entirely of Lost, I stopped staying on top of cleaning, I stopped blogging, I stopped shopping locally (mainly because I couldn't get there),  and all around just stopped doing things that make me feel good.

And now it's spring and that winter phase is over. I'm ready to pick back up and get motivated again. Stop watching so much TV and start cooking again and keeping up with stuff. I love spring!

I decided to take Friday night off from Insanity because my sore throat has moved into my chest and it causing much coughing and hacking. Let me tell ya, it's attractive stuff.

I haven't been getting enough sleep this week, my body is tired and I just needed a break. Back to it today though (Saturday!) and ready for it. I've been eating emergen-c like crazy. Josh tells me he used to eat it as candy right out of the packet. Have you tried emergen-c? I'm eating the kind with 500 mg of glucosamine because I'm worried that being so heavy + intense exercise is taking it's toll on my body.

I was going through archives recently and realized that I haven't done a wardrobe remix or anything fashion related in a long, long time. I'll get on that!

What are your plans for the weekend? Here is my tentative to-do list:

• Finish up custom jewelry orders, get those out in the mail
• Organize jewelry area, make jewelry for shop update and upcoming craft show
• Update blog (of course)
• Exercise
• Create a meal plan for next week
• Clean the house and do some packing (!!!) (I desperately need to clean)
• Get all my shipping/packaging supplies together and organized
• Return emails
• And a bunch of other loose ends.

So guess what? My favorite blogger ever (ever ever ever) of all time is adopting and while I've never met her in person and doubt I ever will I am as happy for her as I could be for a close friend. Alicia Paulson from Posie Gets Cozy.

I've been reading her blog for years, I re-read her blog archives at the beginning of every season. She writes memories in such a way that would make you think she has time travel abilities, she draws upon feelings and emotions from childhood, and growing up as if she just watched everything play out in a movie. She is super creative, self-employed, author and all around genuinely special person. She has has hardship in her life; an accident shortly after moving to Portland and yet she has accomplished so much.

She has inspired me, and a lot of what I do has been energized by her own passion and success in blogging and creativity. I could not imagine someone better suited to be a mother. And I just wanted to share because I needed to tell someone how excited I am and what better way than my own blog? I came this close to waking Josh up telling him that "Alicia and her husband are adopting!!!!" but instead I'm telling you guys.

Tonights entry is brought to you from my bed via my blackberry. I didn"t want to miss posting, but man I"m pooped! We did day three of insanity tonight which is a double dose of sore. My body is angry : )

Anywhoo, I"ll be back tomorrow with todays calorie burn total. I'm off to dream land, kitty is at my feet!

Ps: happy 27th to fat bridesmaid!!

Sweaty and sore pretty much sum it up. We just finished day two of the Insanity workout and guess what? It was insane. We actually got into the workout today and it was by far the hardest workout I've ever done. Ever. In my whole life. It was like Biggest Loser contestant hard. Grunting included.

For serious. I loved it though. How is it possible to enjoy something that is so hard? For starters when I couldn't do an exercise like say jumping push ups, I modified it and pushed myself. The 45 minutes went by quickly and while the exercises were hard I liked not having to memorize steps. The warm-up was just as hard, if not harder than the actual workout.

Check out my GoWear Fit results:

See that huge spike around 7pm? That was Insanity, I was burning up to 14 calories per minute. I can only imagine what my body is going to feel like tomorrow.

Oh! I (we) got new workout shoes...this is funny to me, but we got his and her's nike air span + 7 running shoes:

I'm still following the "S" plan (no snacks, sweets or seconds except for days that begin with S or special occasions) and it really has cut out a lot of excess eating. I did allow myself to have moderate seconds as lunch today to make up for not having breakfast, but I'm really pleased with how I feel on this plan.

I've moved my weight loss goal up to April to coincide with our trip to Vegas on the first, I really want to be at 265 by then! What goals are you working on?

Tuesday I went into work with a gut feeling that I should have just stayed home. The weather forecast was ice, sleet and snow and barely two hours into the work day I decided to make it home before the storm hit.

Instead of retelling the story, I figured that my GoWear Fit activity log could do that for me:

See that chunk of activity in my otherwise sedentary day? That's when the car got stuck. About two and a half miles from home. I was halfway up the hill and I just started sliding back down. My actions before deciding to walk home were as follows: get out of car (that is in the middle of the road) and try to push it up or down the hill. That was stupid. Start walking up the hill assuming people could get around. Realizing (again) that wasn't smart. Walking back down, getting back in the car and somehow reversing the car so it was not in the ditch, but not in the road. That worked and I tried not to freak out too much when I realized that I was in full reverse mode in 2nd gear. Nice. So I started walking.

And you know what? I didn't even care. I wasn't mad, hopeless, or frustrated. I just walked home in the snow. I looked at it as an adventure. I didn't have my cell phone with me (which is a very bad habit, I'll admit) but I would have had to walk either way. I got cardio in, and by the time I made it home I felt really good from the exercise. Go figure. The car was towed home for free thanks to our car insurance and within 30 minutes it was as though nothing ever happened.

I realized that I'm capable of pushing myself even when I think I can't. I was fighting a cold and my left leg was bothering me. And both perceived ailments were much better after this walk.

As you can see, I set my calorie burn target really high! I love challenging myself to get in the 3,000 range. A normal day without exercise is in the low 2,000's.