I never thought, in a million years, that a book would help me to stop overeating or binge eating, but it never stopped me from buying them. I read many thousands of words telling me that I was an emotional eater, a stress eater, an addict, disordered and diseased. I read many more thousands of words telling me that I had deep seated issues and until I resolved them I would never stop eating too much. And I read even more thousands of words telling me to cut out flour, sugar, salt, potatoes, honey, red meat, beans, to count calories, to cut carbs, to calculate points, or to cut the fat. I was told moderation and lifestyle change more times than I care to say. Two words that I never truly got. I spent many weeks at the University counselor trying to figure out why I just couldn't stop eating. Her only solution was that I was depressed and needed the medication I never took.
And then Beth came along and left this comment:
Hello! First time commenter!
I’m not sure if anyone has suggested this book, or if you have read it. Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen.
I’ve been a binge eater most of my adult life, and after reading this book, I stopped. I’m not sure how or why, but I did. Dieting and restricting causes bingeing, that I know.
Take care & good luck to you in the new year!
I immediately logged into Amazon to read the reviews. Within five minutes I was already into the first chapter on my Kindle. I couldn't wait to buy the book, I was ready to dive in. The words used to describe the book mention bulimia, a disorder that I've never had. So I want to say first, that if you've struggled with any form of eating to the excess, please consider reading this book. Whatever you call it, overeating, binge eating, bulimia, etc., if you suffer for the urge to eat beyond being full, if you've had many moments of being able to consume large amounts of food and want to stop right now- this book is for you.
Every journey is personal and individual, binge eating is not black and white. As I read Kathryn's words, a women who has never been obese or even overweight I can honestly say I've never eaten to the excess that she describes in Brain Over Binge. I've also never exercised for hours on end to burn the calories I've consumed. This is her form of purging and why she calls herself bulimic.
I'm obese, and it's not because of moderate or "normal" eating. It never has been, obviously. I've been thinking about my weight since I was eight years old and dieting for so long that I've never really known what normal eating looks or feels like.
I've had glimmers of hope, mainly with intuitive eating, but my urges to eat more always took over. I've been saying tomorrow I'll be better for so long, it's become my default response when life gets in the way.
Since reading Brain Over Binge, I've debated how I'd approach presenting this information on my blog. And after much debate I decided that I could only best explain how I've changed as a result. The book is too in depth and I fear I would do Kathryn and her research much disservice to explain it in any other way. You can read more about her and purchase the book on her website here: Brain Over Binge.
I would love to discuss this book more in depth with those that have read the book or plan to read the book and would like to open my comments up for discussion.
**I was in no way compensated for my opinion. I've linked directly to Kathryn's site, not Amazon, for those interested in purchasing it.**
Thursday morning after reading the first few pages of Brain Over Binge I wanted to eat a biscuit. I rarely eat fast food biscuits, but this morning all I wanted to do was eat while reading a book about eating. Hello, irony.
Normally, a day that starts with a 900 calorie biscuit meal doesn't end well. Because I wasn't "perfect" at breakfast I would normally use that as an excuse to eat what I wanted for the rest of the day and start over tomorrow.
But something changed in those next three hours. I learned that I am not all of the horrible things I always believed I was because of my binge eating. I learned that I am not an emotional eater or addicted to sugar like I always thought. Over time my brain has formed neurological pathways that give me the urge to binge. These urges are so strong that I often cannot concentrate until I alleviate the discomfort of the urge. The pathways were formed first by dieting and then by habit. So now my body believes it needs to binge in order to survive and cope. But, these urges are not me. Logically, I know better. I am not overeating because I have depression, low self-esteem, trauma or an imperfect life, I binge because my body become accustom to it. I learned that when I changed my career, hair, or bought something new, I was trying to change my life. I was trying to fulfill and fill ever corner of my life with events and stuff in a desperate attempt to recover.
I believed that somehow, changing any part of my life would make me complete so that I could stop overeating once and for all. I've searched in vain for over ten years for anything to make me whole. To fix me. To dull the desire to keep eating. I believed that I just hadn't found the right program to tell me how to be better. The right experience, job, relationship, or outfit. I believed that I had to turn my life upside down to make real changes. That I had to stop cooking or baking, or eating out. That I'd have to give up every food that I ever binged, to stop slowly killing myself and to gain control once and for all. On some level, I already knew all of this, I just couldn't believe it was that easy.
After those three hours of reading I said to Josh "I finally get it". And then I started to sob, mostly because I felt like three thousand pounds had been lifted from my shoulders. All I could say was "There's nothing wrong with me! Why didn't anyone ever tell me?! I'm not crazy, lazy, stupid, diseased or suffering.".
And Thursday, for the first time in my life I learned how to almost effortlessly calm myself and take control. In just a few hours my day had turned around. It wasn't perfect, I hadn't solved my life's problems- I just ate and moved on. I felt normal. Instead of stuffing or fighting my urges to eat, I just sat with them and reminded myself that those thoughts are not me. The urges come from years of dieting and habit. I do not have to fight these urges or feel guilty about them. I just sit with the feelings, acknowledge them, remind myself that they are not my higher, more logical self, and it passes. Deep down, I've never wanted to binge and I know logically know this. I know what healthful eating looks like.
Friday I played with fire. I made cookies. I ate two and put the rest away. And these weren't just any cookie. They were amazing. I made a lovely dinner of salad and lentil soup. Nourishing and healthful food that I truly craved and then had two cookies and moved on. Even as I type this, there is a bowl of cookies on the counter and that all too familiar voice to eat all of them and start over tomorrow, is dull. It's almost nonexistent. And for that, I am grateful.
I realize that this post is full of hyperbole, as is my fashion when I get excited about something, but I can honestly say to you that I will never binge again. I will never hide or sneak food. Eat in the car or give myself the promises of tomorrow. And as they say, the proof is in the pudding, I so look forward to sharing this journey with you.
I’m so excited to read this book so we can discuss! Heading out to pick up a hard copy today!
Amazing post. I want to read the book. Thank you!
I just added your blog to my fav list. I look forward to following you here and on twitter ect.. Im can so relate with your entry. Its like I’m reading my thoughts thru your blog ..
I definitely will be picking this book up. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
I just read the ‘Look Inside’ on Amazon and I’m already drawn into her story at the very least. Certainly some of her feelings of shame are familiar to me. Unfortunately it looks as though, as a UK customer, I can only purchase it as an e-book? And I don’t have a device to do so! Interested in reading your ‘part 2′!
Scrap that last comment! I can order it! It will just take about a month for delivery! :-0
Hi Trudy if it helps you can download the kindle version on Amazon and view it on kindle pc for free.
I am excited to check this book out! I am a binge eater and a closet eater. I had gone months without binge eating. I made it through Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas with out bingeing on bags of candy and then all of the suddend, a couple of weeks ago, I binged on Pez candy. Pez? Just when I think I am over or past bingeing it sucks me back in.
I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a while now, and I love this post! Seriously, it makes my heart glad! I am very familiar with the “I’ll start over tomorrow” issue…after consuming an embarrassing amount of calories. I’m finishing up my degree and having a newborn doesn’t leave me with much time to read, but I’m really interested in this book. Maybe it can help me…
I was aimlessy looking on the internet for blogs about weight loss. I suppose not just weight loss but for people who truely struggle like I do. I came across your blog and read the last entry you wrote about over-eating. I just wanted to say that I thought what you wrote was very brave. You say what every person who truley struggles with weight loss thinks. I think about the same things not daily, but hourly, sometimes minute to minute, maybe even several times in a minute. I find that I have a similar problem. If I blow it during breakfast I say “To hell with this”. If I blow it in the middle of the week, I eat until “My diet starts Monday”. I find that at 29 and nearly 50lbs overweight even though I recently have started at the gym, with a personal trainer and going 5 times a week I still struggle. At first when I worked out I thought I could eat anything I wanted. Not the case. I actually have to care, restrict the junk, and eat the good stuff. Last night my boyfriend and I went out to eat. I started an argument with my boyfriend about something trival because I didn’t want to go out for a nice dinner because I have been so good. We got over it and we went. I ate less bread, I ate all the salad and all the veggies on my plate, half of the steak and none of the fried onion rings that came with it. The waitress even brought out the 2 dessert trays for us to look at. I passed on desert and we went home. I was proud, it was a small acomplishment. Everyday I find some way of looking forward to the future. Small ways to see past the weight, the size 14 jeans and remember that first and foremost I am me, we all make mistakes, we all try hard, and as long as I continue forward I am not failing… True failure is when I give up. Since I have not given up I can’t declare my weight loss journey a failure. We are not alone.. You are not alone. Thanks for being brave enough to talk about your struggles.. it makes me brave enough to continue to face mine.
This is a brave blog post. And yours is a brave response. I want to be brave, too. I want to face that I have a problem. I want to change.
This is the first time I’ve ever read your blog and can I just say that I am so glad I did! The similarities between myself and what you’ve stated in this post are too much! I am queen of “I’ll start again tomorrow” or “Monday is a new week” I have 80 pounds to lose. I turn 30 this year. I would like to feel like I have some sort of control over what I eat by the time I’m 30. Looking forward to getting this book!
Just ordered the book! Cant wait to get started, my husband suffers from the same issues. Can a man read the book and find some peace or is it directed towards women?
Thanks,
Sarah
Thanks for sharing!
I read a sample of the book on my kindle and I was totally hooked. I don’t consider myself bulimic either, but I know I have a problem with overeating. I really hope this book will help me overcome this huge, lifelong obstacle. Thanks for sharing!
I am almost in tears reading this post it has inspired me to stop being ashamed of who I am because of my weight. I tell my daughter all the time that she is beautiful and that she is perfect the way that she is. She is not to skinny and not over weight just average and perfect. How do I tell her that and then beat myself up over it. I remember 8 being the year that I gained weight and became the chubby girl in the class I hated it and have been in the cyclical now for 20 years. I am 28 and am 104 pounds overweight that is the first time in my life I have ever said that out loud and in black and white. I am buying this book and will be following you progress. I will be there pound for pound with you I love you blog and thank you for being so honest. And don’t ever think that no-one is listening or cares because this lady does.
Nice thing to say Sarah. I’m listening too.
I hope you all will consider re-reading this blog post. I edited it to include more detailed information about the urge to binge and why it has nothing to do with emotional eating, addiction, depression or trauma. I truly believe this.
I’ve also fixed several typos
This is a great revelation!!! As an overeater I have always struggled with food I. My mind and this book sounds like something that can help me!!
I’m Famous!!!!!
Seriously tho, this book changed-my-life. In an instant, everything fell into place. I too, was told that my eating was endlessly tangled up in my emotional life. I’ve spent YEARS in therapy trying to weed through everything so I could just stop bingeing. The task seemed incredibly daunting. Some of these issues take a lifetime resolve! Is that what it takes to stop bingeing?! But the truth is not as complicated as it seems. (Don’t let the term Bulimic put you off this book. It’s for anyone who has eaten to excess obsessively, whether your purge or not)
When you seperate your true self from your urges to binge (which are neurological nonsense) then the urges die off over time.
We will always make good and bad decisions about food. Because you had an extra slice of pizza, doesn’t mean you should freak out & restrict yourself into maddness. It just means you had an extra slice of pizza. Perfection should never be a goal. Feeling absolutely crazy & obsessed with every bite you take should NEVER be a part of our lives.
I hope this book helps you like it has helped me. My life is much better, not perfect, but better, and I do not binge anymore. I’m not fooling myself when I say that either. I still have urges every now & then, but I realize they are just old habits dying hard, and I have no real reason to act on them. I am in control, truly and honestly in control.
I think you have my email if you ever want to talk about this.
Take care!
Right On! I’m a neuropsychology student and have used similar “new awareness” to re-train my brain into all kinds of great changes. You are so correct in that over time a repeated behavior becomes a neurological trench. It is your “go to” way of thinking and is quite difficult to change. Difficult, but not impossible.
I’m sure not every day will be epiphanies and sunshine, but hopefully your amazing husband will be supportive. Good luck!
Lorrie
I bought the book for my e-reader this morning. I think it’s safe to say that you posting about this book will change my life forever.
I was diagnosed with Bulimia Nervosa at the age of 16. It started out as dieting when I was 14. Just like the author, my purging practice of choice was extreme exercise. I never became medically underweight but it consumed my life.
My story has an interesting twist though. When I was 17 I was in a bad car accident. Long story short my full physical recovery took over a year. I was unable to exert myself or exercise for months. Then there were months when my only exercise was highly supervised physical therapy. I emerged from this experience as a recovered bulimic.
Why? How? My urge to purge went away. “Brain Over Binge” has now helped me understand that situation much better. I was forced to change my behavior and my choice to give in to the urge was made impossible. So by the time I had full control over my choice to exercise, 14 months had passed and the urge to purge had subsided.
But, my urges to binge have never gone away. I’ll spare the details for now, but to make my point the 5’6″, 115 pound 16- year-old girl is now a 5’6″, 260 pound 27-year-old woman.
14 years of pain and struggle (I’m almost 28) suddenly made so much sense this afternoon that I set the book down on the table and just stared at the wall in amazement that it could be so simple. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or get angry.
But, I do believe I’ll get better.
Thank you so much for sharing your life online! I may not have come across this book otherwise!
I’m sold! Going to download it to my kindle today …
My jaw dropped when I saw the title of your latest blog entry today. Why? Because I found out about “Brain over Binge” last night via someone else’s blog, loaded it onto my Kindle, and read 80% of it in one sitting (until 5 in the morning). When I woke up this afternoon, I finished the last 20%. I’ve been a binge eater for so many years and have only continued to gain weight and binge each year I’ve been in therapy. This book has given me hope, finally.
I started blogging myself a few months ago and now that I’ve read this book, I can see how my little blog already reflects lots of misguided notions/conventional wisdom on binge eating disorder. I’m excited (and a bit nervous!) about what lies ahead and have to rethink my blog as well.
Lorrie,
Thank you so much for sharing with us. There are so many of us that deal with the same issues – it’s great to know that we are not alone. I’ve had all of those same thoughts, and it’s nice to know there might be an answer. Can’t wait to get the book!
ordered it!!! I have a lot of food intolerances/allergies which I think makes me even MORE obsessed with food. Everything makes my tummy hurt…so since it hurts, why not eat the stuff that I REALLY miss. :::Sighs::: I look forward to reading the book. Thanks for telling us about it!
This sounds like a wonderful book. I hope it truly has helped you. I know I have had to make serious changes in my own diet and lifestyle and it is never easy. It takes a lot of work and courage to make a real change. Way to go!
Ordered it, read it and I can’t say thank you enough!
I got the free preview of the book on my Kindle and will read some of it tonight.
The promise to never binge again, well, it scares me because I have been there. I really hope it is true for you. If you are really “cured,” that is a miracle I would love to share in! Here’s hoping.
Fantastic post! I actually lost your blog address for a little while and finally found it again today. The blog is so true. Even though my issues stem from upbringing and some other factors I have trained my body, as Paavlov trained his dogs, that when I feel a certain way I eat! This has trained my brain to think a certain way! I am now rewiring my brain and body to not do that anymore. It is hard but am realizing that now that I have used great discipline I do not feel those urges anymore. In fact once in a blue moon I feel like a hamburger I go eat one. I will not deprive myself. That is just a natural thing. SOmetimes people want something they eat it. I just don’t go overboard anymore and my body becomes full with less and things are tasting better to me. I support you and wish you success. You can and will do it!
Hey Lorrie! My name is Lori too. I just started a blog very similar to your (passtheoliveoil.blogspot.com) I am doing P90x and I struggle with the same things you do. I love your blog and I’m so glad I stumbled across it today! I will definitely check out this book!
I hope I can lose 40 pounds before i get married
I would love to discuss this book more in depth with those that have read the book or plan to read the book and would like to open my comments up for discussion
I’ve read the book!!!
I have a question and please answer if you have any thoughts on it. I seem to have soooo much peace when I mentally decide that “I’m not going to try to eat to lose weight, or even think about losing weight”. I just eat intuitively and throw out any neurological junk that comes up. ( I may or may not overdo it each meal, but in a weeks time I definitely have eaten less than I do if I try to focus on losing weight)
But here is the kicker….if I decide that I may start employing tactics that could help me lose weight (even if they are very slight), I get flooded with the neurological junk and I lose that peaceful eating and succumb to the urge to binge. My question is…..should I be patient with healing my brain and NOT focus on weight loss….give myself some time, like a month, then see where I am at? Im in this for the long haul and I know that taking a month to heal my thoughts is much better than taking a month to focus on weightloss and not succeeding and even worse going up in weight.
I think I know the answer to my question:) Do you find this same thing happening to you or are you able to focus on losing weight while lessening the neurological pathways that lead to the urge to binge? Thanks!
I read the book and stopped a lifelong struggle with binge eating disorder immediately. Not a single binge since, though the urges still come.
What I have noticed is that I am dropping weight without even trying! I think the key is NOT to focus on the restriction of food too much. Restriction of any type may be causing your lower animal brain to keep rebooting that starvation message—that may be why you are getting the urges even when you restrict just a little. I stopped tracking what and how much I am eating and ironically, when I stopped keeping track I started losing! I just make sure that I eat lots of fruits and veggies and I buy the best quality I can afford. Instead of restricting my food intake by measuring, eliminating certain foods, etc., which I believe causes you to stress too much, I have been working on retraining my lower brain to stop sending the urges for junk food. It kind of works like the stopping of the binges. You get the urges that you want it, but you veto the urge. Since I’ve been working on this, my diet has improved 100% naturally. I find myself WANTING spinach—who knew!!! I went from eating a half a gallon of ice cream with a big bag of chips at night to being totally fine with a healthy dinner and a small treat. It’s like my higher brain knows what foods are best for me after all. Now I can finally recognize when I’m full and I stop eating then. All I needed to do was stop reacting to the binge urges. I have no idea how much weight I’ve lost because I haven’t gone near the scale yet. But my pants are loose so I know I’m losing. I actually think I’ve dropped a dress size, and I’ve never “not dieted” since I was a kid! I hope this helps you a little! Good luck!